I reach for my tea with a shaky hand. It’s gone cold, but that doesn’t stop me from downing it and wishing it were something stronger.
Without a word, Spencer takes both our mugs and goes to make more tea. When he returns, I expect a slew of questions, or perhaps avoidance; it’s not an easy topic, and the few people I’ve confided in over the years have acted uncomfortable and awkward afterward.
“Your friends and their families were a safe space for you when you needed it most, and now you want to provide the same for Jordy,” Spencer says. “I understand the fine line you spoke of before, but I also think if it’s in your power to help Jordy, youshould, at least within reason. Everyone deserves to have someone in their life who wants the best for them and would do anything for them without expectation or conditions. I sense you’d be that for Jordy.”
Wow. He cut right to the heart of it. Yet again, he’s reminding me why I started falling for him all those weeks ago on the dating app. And why it’s so damn hard to see him as nothing more than a friend now.
Before I can respond, my stomach lets out an unholy gurgle. I slap my hands over it, but it’s too late; the wide-eyed look of amusement on Spencer’s face tells me he heard it. Embarrassed laughter spills out of me. “I didn’t have a chance to eat.”
“Why don’t I go pick something up for you?”
“Oh, I brought a…sandwich.” I try not to wrinkle my nose at the thought of the turkey and cheese sandwich that seemed appealing this morning, yet sounds completely unappetizing right now.
Spencer’s lips twitch. “You like sushi, right?” he asks, and I nod. “Well, I haven’t eaten yet either, and my favorite sushi place is only a few blocks away. If you’re agreeable, I’ll go pick something up and we can eat together. Unless you have too much work to do, of course.”
I do have a ton of work-related things to do. I was gone longer than I should have been, and without Jordy here for her shift, there’s a lot that needs to be done. And yet, the thought of spending more time with Spencer, especially when I’m feeling emotionally raw, is too appealing to pass up.
“If you’re talking about Ta-Ke Sushi, their veggie combo is my favorite,” I say. “I’ll send you a money transfer for my share.”
“You’ll do no such thing,” Spencer says in a breezy tone as he rises from his chair. “Two veggie combos coming right up.” He pauses in the doorway, looking uncertain. “Do you think there’s any chance of Jordy showing up today? Should I get extra? Or perhaps we could deliver some to her?”
The way my heart squeezes makes it difficult to breathe for a few seconds. “She’ll likely be at her sister’s for the rest of the day, and I don’t know where she lives. You’re…I…thank you, Spencer.”
Seeming to understand what I couldn’t quite put into words, Spencer smiles and nods, then disappears.
*****
When I woke up this morning, I never imagined I’d spend part of the afternoon stocking shelves in the food bank with Spencer by my side. This image will be burned in my brain for eternity: Spencer, who removed his suit jacket at lunch, loosened his tie, and rolled the sleeves of his dress shirt up to his elbows, is now carefully placing canned goods onto shelves while humming along to “Mamma Mia” by ABBA.
Be still my heart.
“Are you sure you have time for this?” I ask for at least the third time.
“Positive.” He’s facing away from me, and I watch as his shoulders shimmy slightly to the music, the muscles of his back rippling under his dress shirt. Addthatto the mental image that will live rent-free in my mind.
We carry on with our task, speaking occasionally, but mostly working in silence except for the music coming from my phone. When we’re finished, Spencer joins me in my office. I’m about to ask if he’d like to get something else to eat when his phone rings. He excuses himself and strides to the doorway, where he answers the phone and has a quick, hushed conversation. His clipped tone reminds me of the day we met, making me wonder if it’s his brother, even though it’s late in London.
Spencer hangs up and returns to my desk, where he immediately reaches for his abandoned suit jacket that he draped over a chair earlier.
“Henry at it again?” I ask, hoping to see his smile return. It does, although it’s wry and doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
“Very astute. I’m afraid I need to get going.” He suddenly sounds exhausted. “Unless you’d like me to stay?” he adds quickly.
I’d like nothing more than for him to stay. The fact he’d offer when he clearly needs to deal with something says volumes about the kind of man he is. “You can go. I’m going to stay for a while and do some paperwork.”
Uncertainty passes over Spencer’s expression. When I offer him a tired smile, he nods his head once. “Call me if you need me. Or even if you don’t need me and just…want me. Want to talk to me, that is.”
His words and the way his eyes widen as he says them evoke a more genuine smile from me. “I will. Thanks for everything today, Spencer.”
The second he’s gone, I drop my head onto my desk and close my eyes. Paperwork would be a good distraction, but being with my friends sounds even better. I sit up and reach for my phone, deciding to try Louisa first. I only get as far as unlocking my phone before it rings in my hand. It’s an unfamiliar number, which I’d normally ignore, but something tells me to answer.
“Hi, Hollie, it’s me.”
My whole body sags with relief at the sound of the familiar voice. “Jordy. Are you okay? Where are you?”
“I’m at my sister’s place.” From those few words alone, I can hear the exhaustion in her voice. “I hate to ask this, but can you come pick me up?”
I jump out of my chair and grab my purse and coat. “Give me the address and I’ll be right there.”
