CHAPTER ONE
As a teenager, I imagined life in my thirties would be glamorous. I pictured dinners in nice restaurants, sipping cocktails with friends in trendy bars, maybe even living a jetsetter lifestyle and traveling somewhere new several times a year. There was also a secret part of me that envisioned being madly in love with an amazing guy. I didn’t even mind when a kid or two popped up in those fantasies.
Reality has been quite different from those teenage dreams. Case in point: I’m a few weeks away from turning thirty-five and I’m currently sprawled on my back in a blanket fort strung with fairy lights, holding the hand of one of my childhood best friends. My other two best friends, Stella and Evie, are in the kitchen with their boyfriends, their voices and laughter muffled by the fabric around us.
“Did you ever think we’d be nearly thirty-five and still having slumber parties?”
Louisa laughs at my question, squeezing my hand. “No. I have a feeling sleepovers aren’t common for people our age, Hollie.”
“Pff, their loss,” I say, making her laugh again. “Did you think we’d still be friends at this age?”
“Of course.” She says it with complete surety, although she falls silent for a moment afterward. “Well…I guess there were times I worried we wouldn’t always be close. People change and drift apart, you know? It’s rare to remain close with childhood friends.”
I hum in agreement. “I’m glad we’re the exception.”
One side of the fort lifts away and Wesley appears. As Stella’s older brother, he’s always been an honorary fifth member of our group, but he’s been a more prominent fixture in our lives since he started dating Evie last month. “Time for cake,” he says. “Come on out so we don’t burn down the blanket fort with the candles.”
Louisa and I crawl out and join the others, who are all crowded around the coffee table except for Evie, who’s lingering in the kitchen. Stella sits on the couch beside her boyfriend Leland, practically vibrating with excitement. When we’re all seated, Evie lights the candles and we all sing the birthday song to Stella, whose gaze bounces among us, her eyes shimmering with tears, and her cheeks pink with pleasure.
A delighted giggle spills from her lips when she sees the cake. In between the words ‘Happy Birthday Stella’ is an elaborate icing rendition of Grogu, aka Baby Yoda, from Stella’s favorite show,The Mandalorian. Evie was in charge of ordering the cake, so I expected something colorful to fit Stella, yet elegant because that’s Evie’s style. She knocked it out of the park with this choice, though.
After Stella blows out the candles, she asks, “Did the bakery wonder if the cake was for a little kid?”
“Oddly enough, they actually assumed it was for an adult,” Evie says with a grin. “The baker told me she just made a hugeStar Warscake for someone’s fortieth birthday.”
Stella cuts the cake and hands out slices while Evie doles out scoops of French vanilla ice cream. When there’s a knock on the door, I nudge Louisa, who’s sitting beside me. There’s only one person missing from our little group: my friend and business associate, Fergus MacKinnon, who I introduced to the group in October at Evie’s parents’ Thanksgiving gathering, and who Louisa developed an immediate crush on.
Leland answers the door and greets Fergus with a handshake-hug combo. As everyone else greets the hot Scot and he apologizes for being late, I shift to make room for him to sit beside Louisa, but she clings to my arm to hold me in place. Her shyness and inexperience with dating have left her nervous around Fergus, even though she eventually relaxes and even chats freely with him, which is something I haven’t seen her do often with other men.
Silently agreeing to be her human buffer, I squeeze her hand where it grips my arm and angle my face to accept a friendly kiss on the cheek from Fergus. He moves past me to plant a noisy kiss on Louisa’s cheek before sitting in the empty seat on my other side.
“Glad I made it in time for cake,” he says.
“We’re glad too,” I tell him. “A party wouldn’t be the same without you. Plus nobody should miss out on a cake featuring a baby Jedi alien.”
Louisa relaxes against me. I bump her with my knee, our silent signal that I’m here for her and I love her. She’s only two weeks younger than I am, but she’s always felt like the baby of the group and we’re all fiercely protective of her. After her mother died when we were fourteen, her dad became overprotective to the point of nearly smothering her, which led Louisa to living a sheltered life and developing serious anxiety. Evie, Stella, and I have always been as supportive and encouraging as we can, whether that means gently nudging her outside her comfort zone or making her feel safe in uncertain situations.
After cake and presents, Evie announces it’s time for the girls-only portion of the sleepover. The guys take the not-so-subtle cue to leave, and there are more hugs and kisses all around. Louisa disappears to the bathroom, and I hang back as Evie and Stella walk the guys to the door.
My phone buzzes on the coffee table. I flip it over and swipe to my notifications, groaning when I see an email from the dating app I recently deleted. The subject line is:Give us another chance! Let us help you find love!
I hit delete without opening the email. Evie and I signed up for LoveLinks in a moment of weakness a few months ago; I’ve always been resistant to online dating, even though I know it’s worked for a lot of people. Evie lasted for a couple of weeks before deleting the app, while I chatted with a few guys, but continued to be hesitant to meet any of them.
Well, that’s not exactly true. Therewasone guy I really liked, and I was sure the feeling was mutual. Spencer and I seemed to have an instant connection, and we messaged back and forth regularly on the app for a few weeks. We never got too personal and we didn’t move things off the app, but that didn’t stop us from finding plenty to talk about. Joking with him, sharing our favorite things, and exchanging work stories became a highlight of my day. When he broached the subject of finally meeting in person, I didn’t hesitate to agree to meet for drinks.
On the big night, I waited at the bar for nearly an hour, first taking small sips of my Manhattan, then gulping it down and ordering another as the clock ticked the minutes away and my messages to Spencer went unread. I was heading toward tipsy when I left the bar to walk the short distance home. My messages remained unread days later, which led me to deactivating my account and deleting the app from my phone. In that moment, I decided I’d either find love the old-fashioned way or not at all, thank you very much.
I straighten as Stella approaches me. Fergus and Leland are gone, but Evie and Wesley are lingering by the door, talking quietly and gazing at each other with heart eyes.
“Those two.” Stella gives a good-natured eye roll. “This could take a while.” She stands beside me, slinging an arm around my shoulders. We watch Evie and Wesley until the pair start kissing, and then we turn to each other. “So, Miss Matheson. You’re next.”
My eyes go wide and I shake my head vigorously. “I…no, I don’t think so. That’s not…no.”
Stella cocks her head, one side of her mouth lifting in amusement. “I meant your birthday, Hols. Yours is next. What did you think I meant?”
I force out a laugh. “Right, my birthday.” The way Stella studies me reminds me there’s no hiding things from my friends. I sigh. “I thought you meant I’d be next to find love.”
“Oh.Ohh.” Her arm tightens around me. There’s a hint of mirth mixed in with the sympathy in her expression. “Just an observation, but you seemed pretty against the idea when you thought that was what I was talking about.”
