My mind snags onthe word ‘relationship’. “What are you saying?”
“Idowant tobe your friend, Stella. I want to be yourbestfriend, the person you turn toand share things with. But I want more. I want to build a life withyou, be there for you, show you every day just how amazing you are.I’ve loved being your fake boyfriend, but I want to be yourrealboyfriend. I knowthat’s not what we agreed, but—”
“Screwthe agreement.”
He sputters out alaugh. “Screw the agreement?”
“Yes.Everything you just said? I want that too, Leland. All of it. Ipromised myself I wouldn’t rush into another relationship sinceI’ve had a habit of making all the wrong choices, but…Iknowthis isright.”
I’m not sure whichone of us moves first, but in the next moment, we’re in eachother’s arms, hugging and laughing. We’ve embraced countless timesover the last month, and each one has helped stitch my brokenpieces back together. I didn’t know it at the time, but thathealing began the day of Leland and Wesley’s high schoolgraduation, when Leland unknowingly set me on the right path andhelped me course-correct my messed up life.
I made plenty ofmistakes after that and I’ve had to pick up countless pieces on myown, but all of those detours have led me here. To a night spentwith the people I love most, culminating in a dream come true:Leland in my arms as more than just a friend.
That fizzychampagne feeling from earlier returns as Leland shifts us arounduntil our mouths meet. I match his fervor, pouring all my love andaffection into the kiss. Being with Leland feels safe andexhilarating at the same time. It feels like new beginnings andendless possibilities.
It feels likehome.
CHAPTERSEVENTEEN
Novembernineteenth. My thirty-fifth birthday. Twenty years ago, at thetender age of fifteen, I thought I had my whole life figured out.When my dreams were crushed and it felt like my life was over, itwas impossible to imagine what my life would turn out to be. When Isat in my high school cafeteria sharing cookies and slushies andtentative laughter with Leland Levesque, I never thought he’d comeback into my life one day and stay.
“Areyou ready for this?” I ask.
Leland hoists thetakeout bags in his arms, readjusting them so he can lean in tokiss me. I couldn’t decide what I wanted for my birthday dinner, sohe suggested we get a few things from all my favorite places. If Ihadn’t already known he was the perfect man for me, that cementedit.
“Is itweird that I’m nervous?” he asks. “I’ve hung out with your friendsbefore—we were all together at your party literally two nights ago,and Wesley is one of my oldest friends—but I feel like this is somesort of rite of passage.”
“That’sbecause it is,” I tell him, holding back laughter. “It’s a doublecelebration. My birthday and you going from honorary group memberto official group member. We’re an awesome bunch, so it’s a prettybig deal.”
Leland laughs andkisses me again, nipping at my bottom lip. Before it can go anyfurther, the door flies open.
“Youtwo can make out later,” Evie says, ushering us inside. “Let’s eatbefore the food gets cold.”
I stop in mytracks when I see my brother standing beside an elaborate blanketfort on the far side of the room. He motions to it like a game showassistant. “I used every blanket in the entire apartment, so Ithink it’s big enough to fit all six of us,” he says. “When Hollieand Lulu get here, we’ll have dinner inside, then we can move tothe couch and chairs for dessert and the movie. I don’t know aboutyou, but I can only sit on the floor for so long.”
Evie takes thetakeout bags from my arms so I can dash across the room and launchmyself at Wesley. He squeezes me so hard, my feet nearly leave theground.
“Ipromised you an epic blanket fort, and I always keep my promises,”he says. “Can this count as your birthday gift?”
I laugh, releasinghim and stepping back to admire the fort. Through a gap in the top,I can see there are cushions inside, along with some artificialflickering candles and fairy lights. “Absolutely. Thankyou.”
Evie appears by myside. I expect her to have containers of food, but her hands areempty. She tilts her head at Wesley, who leaves to join Leland inthe kitchen.
“Comeon,” she says, dropping to the ground and crawling inside the fort.“I want a minute alone with the birthday girl. The guys will getthe food organized while we get comfy.”
We crawl to thefar end of the fort, settling ourselves among the cushions. “Maybewe should sleep in here tonight,” I say. After dinner and a movie,Wesley and Leland will be leaving for the night so the four of uscan have a sleepover, which is how we always celebrated ourbirthdays as kids.
“Whynot. It’ll be just like old times, except with alcohol and nobedtime.”
“Andthe inevitable stiffness in the morning,” I say, and we both laugh.A long moment of companionable silence passes between us. Themuffled sound of Leland and Wesley’s voices filter through theblankets. “Evie?”
“Yeah?”
“I knowage is just a number and turning another year older doesn’t reallychange anything, but…did you feel any different when you turnedthirty-five last month?”
Evie chews on theinside of her lip as she thinks about it. “Yes and no? I feltdifferent, but I don’t know if it was turning thirty-five so muchas having an actual, literal dream come true after so many years.”She lifts a corner of the blankets so she can peer through to thekitchen. The moment her eyes land on Wesley, they fill with love.When she turns back to me, that love still shines in her eyes, andit makes my heart swell even more. “What about you? Do you feeldifferent?”
DoI feel different? So much hashappened in the last few months, and especially the last few weeks.I feel like a whole new person and yet…not. “I feel more likemyself than I’ve ever felt. Does that sound silly?”
