“Well,you succeeded.” I meander toward the center of the large, openroom, holding out my arms and spinning in a half circle. “There wasaStar Warsdisplay in the window for May the fourth; that was what drewme in. I almost didn’t go in because I was expecting a bunch ofkids, and thought I’d stand out too much.”
“Butthen you came inside and realized most of the people were yourage?” Felicity guesses.
I nod, rememberingit all so clearly. “A pair of middle-aged women squeeing over theDisney collectables. A guy in his thirties perusing the videogames. A few teens checking out the comic books and graphic novels.People of all ages, but mostly adults. I spent over an hourwandering around that day. I saw dozens of things I wanted to buy,but I only let myself get one thing—”
“AnR2-D2 pin,” Felicity says.
Mymouth literally drops open and surprised laughter spills past mylips. “How onearthdid you remember that? That wasyearsago.”
One side of hermouth quirks up. “I saw you come in that day, but one of my salesassociates greeted you before I could. After you’d been there forabout twenty minutes, she pointed you out and said she was afraidyou might be a shoplifter.”
Morelaughter sputters from my mouth. “Ashoplifter?”
“Yourposture was really tense and you kept reaching to touch things andthen stopping yourself. After watching you for a few minutes, Irecognized your body language as a combination of nerves andexcitement. I’d seen it countless times from first-time shopperswho weren’t used to stores like FandomTown. I wanted to approachyou so many times, but I just let you browse on your own. I thoughtI might spook you if I tried to engage.”
I tryto picture myself the way Felicity must have seen me that day. Bythat time, I was unhappy in my marriage, playing the dutifulhousewife. I was supposed to be shopping for groceries for a dinnerparty Lars and I were hosting the next night, so I felt guiltybeing in FandomTown, and yet I couldn’t pry myself away. There weredozens of things I wanted to buy, but I knew Lars would criticizeand likely even mock me if I came home with a single fandom item.That R2-D2 pin was my own silly little form of rebellion; I pinnedit inside my purse where no one else could see it. EverytimeIsaw it, itfelt like an inside joke of sorts, and it made me smile.
I shake my head,dislodging the image of that lonely, lost woman. “I love your ideasfor the store. More adults need to learn it’s okay to have fun andbe silly and play. My old therapist used to tell me I needed to letmy inner child out more. She said I’d repressed her, first with myskating, which was a mature interest that required discipline anddedication, and then after my accident when…when I basically gaveup for a while.”
I swallow hard, mygaze darting away from Felicity’s sympathetic expression. “Myfriends have always loved and supported me, but they’re really theonly ones who know about my nerdy tendencies. I didn’t hide thatside of myself from my ex at first, and he seemed to acceptit…until he didn’t. So I tucked that part of myself away againuntil I moved back to Bellevue. I feel like I can be myself here.Here, as in Bellevue, and here as in this store, withyou.”
“Andme, I hope.”
Felicity and Ispin in unison to face Leland. He’s leaning against the widedoorway between the main part of the store and the back rooms. Iwonder how long he’s been there and how much of our conversation heheard. Enough to chime in, anyway.
I examine myfeelings about that as Felicity admonishes him for scaring us. Hesmiles at me with his brows raised slightly as if waiting for aresponse. It hits me suddenly that I don’t care if he heard ourentire conversation; I have nothing to hide from him. I don’t needto be anyone but myself here. I can safely let both Leland andFelicity see the parts of me I’ve kept hidden from so many peopleover the years for fear of ridicule.
“You’veseen me in my Mandalorian pajamas,” I finally say. “There’s nogoing back from that.”
The smile thatunfurls across his face is a thing of beauty. Affection mixes withthe humor dancing in his eyes, making my heart beat a littlefaster.
“Wouldn’t want to go back even if I could,” he says. “I broughtlunch if the two of you are ready for a break. You’veclearlybeen working hardconsideringabsolutely nothinghas changed since I was here earlier.”
Felicity shoveshim toward the back room and I follow, the three of us laughing aswe settle at the new table and chairs that arrived the other day. Ialready miss our floor picnics, but my back is happy about sittingin a proper chair to eat.
“Momcalled me last night to tell me she was going out for coffee thisafternoon with your mom and Evie’s mom,” Leland says as he places awrap and a coffee in front of me.
“Today? Wow, they didn’t waste anytime.”
“I hopeyou don’t regret putting our moms back in each other’s orbits,”Felicity says. “I’m imagining one or both of you getting a phonecall tonight saying they’ve started planning your wedding orsomething.”
My answering laughsounds nervous even to my own ears, although Leland just smilessoftly and digs into his lunch. The three of us talk aboutFandomTown in Toronto, and Felicity tells us about some of herfavorite regular customers she’ll miss and a few shewon’t.
When we finisheating, I brush the crumbs off my hands and sit back in my chair.“All right, boss, put me to work.”
Felicity is quietfor a minute, her mouth twisted to the side as she thinks. “Whydon’t you both take the rest of today off? And the weekend too. Ineed to get some proper plans drawn up before we move forward.Setting everything up is hard work, especially with moving aroundshelves and displays. The last thing I want is to get everything inplace and then decide I’d prefer it a different way.”
“Weappreciate that,” Leland says dryly.
“Ithought you would,” Felicity says. “Stella, maybe over the weekendyou could think about the blog aspect of the website. I was playingaround with the idea of having one person run the blog and maybeeven our social media, and then have other staff members contributeif they’re inspired to do so—opinion pieces, pictures of theircollections, thoughts on specific fandoms, that sort ofthing.”
“I loveit.” I make notes in my phone as she speaks. When I’m finished,both she and Leland are looking at me, their expressionsunreadable.
“That’ssomething you could be in charge of if you let me hire youfull-time,” Felicity says. “Just saying. No pressure.”
I can’thelp but laugh at her casual tone paired with an easy little shrug.The thing is, Idon’tfeel pressured. I know Felicity will accept whatever decisionI make, even if it’s to continue job hunting after this temporarygig helping her and Leland set up the shop. A huge part of me can’tunderstand my own hesitation and why I don’t accept the job rightnow. The other part of me—the part that has become cautious andtends to overthink—tells me not to rush into anydecisions.
Wanting to changethe subject, I ask, “Any plans for this weekend other than mappingout the store’s setup?”
