One side ofLeland’s mouth creeps up before it turns into a full-blown smile.“Yeah. Yeah, I can definitely make that happen.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
Sometimes I wishmy brain had an off switch.
It’s Wednesdayevening and I’m home alone. Evie and Wesley are out on a date and,despite initially looking forward to some time on my own, I can’tget my racing thoughts to shut up.
I’ve been thinkinga lot about my conversation with Leland the other day. He was rightabout not everyone loving their job and using their non-workinghours to cultivate hobbies and interests. I’ve been so set in myidea of having a ‘proper’ job or career, something that pays well,is fulfilling, and maybe even sounds impressive to others. In allmy years of working, I’ve never found anything that checks allthose boxes, and there have even been times when I’ve beendownright miserable.
There’s somethingdeep inside me that’s resentful of those temp jobs, and it tiesinto the part of my heart that still longs for the life I mappedout as a teenager. My identity was so wrapped up in skating andcompeting, I didn’t know how to do or be anything else after myaccident. But the accident was nearly twenty years ago, and I needto stop using it as a way to justify my poor decisions andaimlessness in life.
Because of that, Iaccepted Felicity’s offer of a temporary job helping her set upFandomTown. I spent a few hours at the store yesterday and today sowe could go over some of what needs to be done. Now I’m wishing I’doffered to stay longer or see if Felicity and Leland felt likedoing something tonight.
I’m putting intime mindlessly scrolling through my favorite fandom forum. Idiscovered it years ago when Lars suggested I stay home instead ofworking. I joined on a whim one day when I had nothing else to do,and I soon discovered an online community that filled some of theempty spaces growing inside me. All fandoms are welcome on thesite, so I would hop from virtual room to room, chatting withpeople all over the world about favorite shows, movies, and music.We would discuss obscure theories and couples we shipped, plotholes in TV shows, and underrated bands. The site not only gave mea place to be myself and talk to like-minded people, it also helpedme make friends when I felt isolated and too ashamed to tell mybest friends what was happening in my marriage.
When myphone pings with a text, I practically rocket off the couch tosnatch it from the coffee table. I smile when I see Leland’s nameand his tiny square picture on my screen—a cropped shot of his facefrom the park selfie we took on Saturday. His text reads:Do you have plans for this evening? I’m in thearea of your building (assuming you’re even home) and was wonderingif you wanted to hang out.
Relief andexcitement mingle with what feels like butterflies in my stomach.Ignoring the winged insects, I drop my gaze to my pajama-clad legs.Early evening pajamas are becoming a habit; I changed my clothesthe minute Evie left the apartment.
I replyto Leland with:Evie’s out for the night,and I’m home. Would love to hang out. Just need a few minutes toput on clothes.
Seconds after Ihit send, I do a mental facepalm at how ambiguous that last partwas. Before I can send a follow-up text to elaborate, anothermessage from Leland comes through.
Do youwander around the apartment naked when Evie’s not home?
Naturally. Right now I’m in pajamas, though. I had a momentrecently when I was tempted to leave the house in my jammies, but Icame to my senses and realized I don’t want to be That Person. Ifyou want to go out, I’ll need to change.
As alover of pajamas myself, I wouldn’t want to interfere with theglory of PJ wearing. Have you eaten? I could bring dinner toyou?
Myfingers freeze over the keyboard as I try to picture Leland inpajamas. What would a guy like him wear to bed? I shake off thethoughts and reply,Staying in my pajamasAND eating something more appealing than a frozen dinner?Sold.
Lelandsends back a laughing emoji followed by:Be there in 20-30 mins.
As I tidy thecoffee table and put my laptop away, I contemplate changing myclothes even though Leland already knows I’m wearing pajamas. Isettle for donning a cardigan to hide the fact I’mbraless.
Myphone chimes when I pick it up to check the time.Stopping at the liquor store. Do you have apreference? Beer? Wine? Cider? Straight hard liquor? Or I can stopfor something non-alcoholic.
Whatever you think will go well with dinner. I’m notpicky.
He sends back athumbs up. I wait another minute in case he has more questions,then set my phone down. Once again, I have to remind myself Lelandis a friend and nothing more, despite our agreed-upon ruse. I can’thelp comparing him to some of the guys I dated before I gotmarried. My experience with dating women has mostly been differentfrom going out with men, but even then, spur of the moment textswere often either one of the two Bs: a booty call or a boredomcall. I can’t even remember the last time someone took the time toconsult me on my drink preferences.
It’s not longbefore the downstairs intercom goes off. I tell Leland whichapartment is Evie’s before buzzing him in. I open the door to waitfor him, and watch as he strides off the elevator a minute later,his hands full of paper bags.
His smile is quickand bright when he sees me in the doorway. “Hey. I’m so glad youwere free tonight.”
The words warm mefrom head to toe, especially considering I just saw him atFandomTown a few hours ago. I surge forward to take a bag from himas it begins to slip from where it’s tucked into his elbow. Weenter the apartment and he hands me another bag before setting downthe rest and taking off his jacket and shoes.
He eyes my pajamaswith a small smile. I’m back in the same Mandalorian set I waswearing last week. “Nice PJs. You know, I was tempted to stop andbuy pajamas so we’d both be wearing them, but didn’t know if thatwould be weird.”
“Depends on what kind of pajamas you wear, I guess.”
“Iusually rock one of those old-fashioned nightdresses like JohnnyRose inSchitt’s Creek,” he says without missing a beat, which makes me laugh. “Ilikely would have bought something similar to what you’re wearing,though.”
“Nexttime. FandomTown carries all kinds of pajamas, and I’m sureFelicity would give you a family-slash-part-owner discount.” I setthe takeout bags on the coffee table and head for the kitchen toget plates and utensils.
“Thatreminds me.” Leland’s voice fades as he bends to rustle around inone of the bags he brought. As I set the plates on the counter, hejoins me in the kitchen with something held behind his back. At myexpectant look, he produces a small rectangular Funko Popbox.
When Idon’t immediately take it, he sets it on the counter. “I heard youand Felicity talking aboutTheMandaloriantoday, and I saw you eyeingthis when you were sorting toys. I mentioned it to Felicity and shetold me to give it to you as a thank-you.”
