Stella is silentfor so long, I’m sure she’s reading it more than once. Finally, shewhispers, “Wow.” Tears glimmer in her eyes, causing my own eyes torefill.
“Yeah.Wow.” Snippets of my life’s history with Wesley flash through mymind, from the time we were little through our teens and intoadulthood. I replay various things he’s said and done, paired withthe way I’ve caught him staring at me with what I convinced myselfwasn’t longing. “I’m not…reading too much into this, right?Imagining it’s romantic when it’s really just Wesley expressing howmuch our friendship means to him?”
“Evie.This is not a ‘you are my best friend and I love you’ type ofmessage,” she says, waving the insert around. “This is…it’s thekind of love a lot of people only ever dream about. The kindyou’vebeen dreamingabout for as long as I can remember.”
Her words spur meto pick up my phone and dial Wesley’s number again. Still noanswer. If Stella’s slightly terrifying voicemail didn’t compel himto call her immediately, there’s no sense in leaving a message ofmy own.
Instead, I settleback on my bed, nestling into the pillows and resting my head onStella’s shoulder. In unison, we insert our earbuds, and I hit playto restart the CD.
CHAPTER TWELVE
The morning of mybirthday dawns bright and clear.
I’mthirty-five today.Thirty-five. My life hasn’t been whatI thought it would be in many ways, but it’s better than I evercould have imagined in plenty of others.
There’s a lightknocking on my door, followed by Stella peeking her head into myroom. I’m still half asleep, but seeing her makes the last coupleof days come rushing back to me. Wesley. All the confusing,seemingly loaded things he said on Thursday. The love songs hecurated and the things he wrote in the CD insert.
“Goodmorning, birthday girl!” Stella runs into my room and takes aflying leap onto my bed. I laugh as the bed shakes and bounces, andthen flop back as she throws her arms around me and snugglesclose.
“Howare you feeling?” she asks, leaning her head against myshoulder.
“Aboutturning thirty-five? Or about the fact I’m in love with yourbrother and just discovered he’s had feelings for me for almost aslong as I’ve loved him?”
Stella is silentfor a moment. “All of the above?”
A slightlycrazed-sounding giggle spills out of my mouth and ends on a sigh.“I’ll let you know once I’m caffeinated.”
“We canhelp with that.” The bedroom door opens further and Hollie stepsthrough, carrying a take-out tray of cardboard cups with a bakerybag on top. The heavenly scent of coffee and chocolate reaches mynose and makes my mouth water.
“Happybirthday, Evie,” Louisa says, squeezing past Hollie to enter theroom. She grins when she sees Stella and me cuddled together inbed.
“Whydidn’t you mention they were here?” I ask Stella.
She shrugs,pushing herself into a seated position. “I wanted birthdaysnuggles.”
“Are wecamping out in here?” Hollie asks, lifting the tray in herhands.
“Astempting as that is, let me go brush my teeth so I don’t kill youall with my morning breath, and then I’ll meet you in the livingroom.”
While I’m in thebathroom, I make myself somewhat presentable since I’m sure atleast one cell phone camera will be aimed at me this morning. We’rea group who like to document occasions, from the mundane to themonumental. The chatter in the living room dies as I approach, andLouisa nudges Hollie, who quickly fumbles with a lighter. The threeof them rise as one, with Hollie in the middle holding a plate witha cupcake that has a candle in the center.
My eyes burn withtears as they sing ‘Happy Birthday’. When the song comes to an end,I hold up a finger for them to wait. Their laughter trails after meas I run to my bedroom to get my phone from the nightstand. Thepurple CD case is sitting beside it, so I grab that too.
“Hurryand blow out the candle before the wax mixes with the frosting,”Stella says as I dash back into the room.
“Justone sec. Smile!” I take a few quick pictures of them huddledtogether, their faces glowing in the flickering candle flame. Mythree best friends. Three pieces of my heart in human form. I spinaround, flipping the camera into selfie mode and framing the girlsover my shoulder so all four of us are in the shot. I’m sure we’lltake dozens of pictures today, and my mom will likely have aprofessional photographer discreetly snapping photos at the partytonight, but I already know these will be among my favorites of theday.
“Candle!” Louisa says, and I surge forward to blow it out,sending a quick wish into the universe that I’ll always feel thisloved.
There’s a flurryof action as breakfast is laid out and seats are taken. I give myphone a quick glance as I move to set it aside. There’s a messagefrom Wesley, sent at exactly midnight last night.
Happybirthday, Buttercup. I hope you have an amazing day and thatthirty-five is your best year yet. I’m sorry for ghosting you, andI promise to explain everything at your party tonight.
It’s followed by astring of birthday-related emojis, with several colorful hearts anda few kissy faces sprinkled in.
“Okay,so, Wesley,” Hollie says, thrusting a cardboard cup into my hand.Pumpkin-scented steam rises to meet me. “Details.”
I set my phoneaside and pick up the CD. I hold it against my chest for a momentas I survey Hollie and Louisa’s expectant faces. Even though I letStella read it and listen to the CD with me last night, part of mefeels strange sharing this with them, even though we’ve alwaysshared everything. My inner voice of reason repeats what it saidlast night: Wesley would likely expect me to share it with myfriends.
