Fiona picks up a long, flat box that’s balanced on top of the pile. “Let’s start with the crackers.” She distributes them, coming to me last. “One of our many traditions,” she explains, handing me a Christmas cracker that’s designed to look like a nutcracker. “We’ve done crackers for as long as I can remember. I took over buying them when I moved abroad because they’re so much more popular in the UK than here.”
She sits down and signals for everyone to pull their crackers. A series of loud pops ring through the room, drawing delighted shrieks and giggles. Everyone talks over each other as they read out the jokes and riddles inside and don their flimsy, colorful paper crowns. Remembering what Liam said earlier, I take out my phone and snap several candid shots, capturing sweet moments of rosy-cheeked laughter. The candid shots turn into posed ones and group selfies when Rex spies me with my phone in hand.
The volume in the room increases a few minutes later when Fiona returns to the pile of presents and begins handing them out. I sit back and watch, smiling as I sip my cup of rum-spiked eggnog. I nearly choke for the second time today when Fiona stops in front of me and holds out a small, beautifully-wrapped package with a sticker that readsTo Joss, Love Fiona.
“I didn’t get you anything,” I say in dismay. It didn’t occur to me there would be a gift exchange tonight; I assumed Fiona and her parents would exchange presents privately.
Fiona shakes her head, smiling warmly. “I don’t need anything. Just keep taking care of my family like you have been while you’re here. Oh, and maybe come see me in London sometime next year if you have time.”
“I’llmakethe time,” I promise. “Thank you, Fi.”
Her smile widens at my use of her nickname. She swoops in to kiss my cheek before doing the same to Liam and handing him a small gift of his own.
We all rip into our presents at the same time. Fiona’s gift to me is a beautiful silky scarf in blues and purples that remind of the Northern Lights. There’s a business card from the maker attached to a note from Fiona explaining that she bought it from a woman in Covent Garden who hand paints the scarves. My eyes seek out Fiona, who’s huddled with Rex as the pair open gifts wrapped in plain brown paper.
“Nathan!” Fiona gasps, pulling a small wooden fox from where it’s nestled in a bed of tissue paper. Beside her, Rex grins as he pulls a wooden dinosaur from his box. “I can’t believe you made this for me.”
Nathan looks supremely uncomfortable. He glances around and practically starts squirming in his seat when he realizes all eyes are on him. “I had some extra wood and I remembered you always liked foxes,” he mutters. “I was making a dinosaur for Rex anyway and—”
“Nathan,” Fiona says again, cutting him off. “I love it. Thank you.”
He lifts his lips in what I think is supposed to be a smile but looks more like a grimace. Liam makes a soft sound beside me and I look at him to find him pressing his lips together to hold back a laugh. When I quirk a brow at him, he laughs under his breath and shrugs one shoulder.
“I’m just waiting to see if she tries to hug him,” he whispers. “I think Nathan would bolt so fast he’d leave one of those cartoon vapor trails in his wake.”
I nudge him with my elbow, making him laugh again, and I can’t help laughing along with him. The others go back to chatting as they tidy up wrapping paper and admire their gifts. Liam shows me the leather cuff Fiona got him. As I lean in close to help him tie it on, he says, “I forgot to tell you how fetching you look in that paper crown. Would you be mad if I made a joke about you being the Queen of Christmas?”
I chuckle. “Surprisingly, no. I feel like I’m beginning to really earn that moniker. Although I think we all know thetrueQueen of Christmas is Mae.”
Mae perks up at her name, so I join her across the room to show off my new scarf and thank Fiona for the beautiful gift. I admire the wooden animals Nathan made for Rex and Fiona, and straighten Murph’s paper crown, which got knocked askew when he put on the cardigan Fiona gave him. He takes my hand and kisses it, holding on for a moment until he’s distracted by something Rex shows him.
“Time for dessert?” Fiona suggests. We were all so full after dinner, we made a collective decision to hold off on dessert for a while. Now there are sounds of agreement all around, so I offer to help her bring it out. When we reach the kitchen, she tells me she just remembered the fudge packed in the bottom of her suitcase, and she runs upstairs to get it.
Alone for the first time all day, I lean against the counter and take a deep breath. This has easily been one of the best days of my life. I’m exhausted and my feet ache, but my heart feels fuller than it ever has. I pull my phone from the pocket of my sweater and scroll through the pictures I took. I pause on my favorite, laughing quietly as tears sting my eyes. I’d instructed everyone to gather in front of the tree for a family photo. After I snapped several shots, Rex pointed out I should be in some pictures too. Since none of us has a tripod, I’d told everyone to stay put as I whipped around and aimed the camera at myself, with all of them huddled behind me, grinning.
I’ll cherish these photos forever. In fact, I might even frame this one and hang it in my condo. It’s nice to know I’ll have more than just memories to take with me when I leave Honeywell.
CHAPTER TWENTY
A few days after Fiona leaves, Liam goes radio silent for over twenty-four hours. We didn’t have any set plans—he said he’d be working a lot so he could take a week or two off around Christmas—but it’s unusual not to get quick calls or texts from him throughout the day. He hasn’t answered any of my calls or texts either.
I tell myself to enjoy some time on my own and not become one of those people who always need others around. I haven’t had much time on my own lately, which would normally make me antsy. Instead, I’ve found myself enjoying my time with Liam, Rex, and the Murphys more than my solitude, which is a completely foreign feeling for me. I think I’ve spent more time with Liam in the last month than I did with Alan in the final year of our marriage.
During my time on my own, I have a therapy session with Dr. Gupta and talk to Natalie and my agent about reading the movie script by the Pascal sisters. After a video call with the sisters themselves, I agree to read it, and it arrives via special messenger within hours. If I wasn’t sure about how eager they were before, I am now.
It’s difficult to focus at first because I’m concerned about Liam’s disappearing act, but soon I get swept into the story. The role sounds intense, which is something I’ve been longing for after playing such wholesome roles for so long. Every actor wants to stretch their acting muscles and prove they’re capable of portraying a range of characters. This could be that opportunity for me.
I make a decision before I even get all the way through the script. I want this part. I’m just not sure what taking it would mean for my tentative dreams of finding a way to stay in Honeywell.
*****
My heart seizes when my phone rings and Nathan’s number flashes across the screen. It’s now been almost two days since I’ve spoken to Liam. Even Mae’s phone went to voicemail the two times I called her today.
I take a deep breath before I answer so I won’t be tempted to skip all the pleasantries and go straight to asking about Liam.
“Hey, Joss, it’s Nathan,” he says in that calm, unhurried way of his.
“Hi, Nathan, how are you doing?”
