“Ass kisser,” Nathan mutters. Mae whips the towel again, catching him on the butt as he leaves the kitchen. I stifle a laugh at his yelp of surprise.
While Liam digs his phone out of his pocket to show Fiona something, I cross the room to join Mae. “Dare I ask what that was about with Nathan?” I whisper.
After a quick peek over her shoulder at Fiona and Liam, Mae sidles closer to me. “This was how he was for ages when Fiona first left all those years ago. He covered his hurt with surliness. He tried to distance himself from everyone, but he came around pretty quickly when I told him Murph and I refused to let him out of our lives.”
Mae gives me a wink as she moves away to stir something at the stove. I stay rooted to the spot, wondering what it must be like to have people who love you that much. People who refuse to let you withdraw from them or from life.
I blink out of my thoughts when a hand covered in colorful rings settles on my arm. “Want to go see what my dad and Rex are up to?”
I follow Fiona upstairs. On the way, she tells me about the set of nutcrackers she brought from London for her mom and the rare book she found for her dad in a used bookshop in Edinburgh. She slows her pace as we approach Murph’s office door; I’m sure, like me, she expected voices and laughter, but it’s silent. We peek around the doorway to find Murph and Rex curled up in a big armchair, sleeping. The sight brings tears to my eyes, and I’m not the only one. Eyes glistening, Fiona pulls her phone out and tiptoes forward, taking a few shots of her dad and Rex.
She motions to the hall, and I lead the way out. I’ve only made it a couple of steps when Fiona says my name, prompting me to turn back. “I’m going to stay up here for a bit,” she says quietly. “I’ll sit with them and read until they wake up. Do you mind telling my mum where we are?”
“No, not at all.”
“Thanks, Joss. I have a feeling we won’t get much time on our own tonight, but I’d love to grab dinner or drinks while I’m in town if you have time? I’m grateful for how good you’ve been to my parents—and to Liam and Rex—and I’d love a chance to get to know you better. We’ve both chosen different paths in life, ones that some people might not understand, and I feel like we’d be kindred spirits.”
I tell her I’d love that and promise we’ll find a chance to exchange numbers and make plans. When I reach the bottom of the stairs, Nathan is coming down the hall. His gaze darts to mine and then away again just as quickly. He’s only a step or two past me when he freezes and gently grips my elbow to pull me to a stop. “I’m sorry about before. In the kitchen.”
“You don't owe me an apology,” I assure him. “I get that it must be awkward for you, being around Fiona.”
He makes a soft humming sound. “I appreciate you letting me off the hook so easily, but I was an ass, and I don’t want that impression to stick with you.”
I’m surprised and oddly touched that Nathan cares what I think.
“Being around Fiona messes with my head,” he says, dropping his voice even lower. “I always think the next time I see her will be easier, but…” He shakes his head, releasing a weary sigh. “Anyway, I don’t want you to think badly of Fiona. She’s a great person, so don’t let my shitty attitude sway you in any way. I know neither of you are sticking around Honeywell, but I think you two would be good friends.”
“I hope we can be,” I say, aiming for simple and diplomatic. My heart aches for Nathan; his feelings for Fiona are obviously complicated, but it’s clear he still loves her. I hate to think of him pining away for her forever. I’m sure that’s not what Fiona would want.
Nathan opens his mouth as if to speak, then closes it. The skin around his eyes tightens, and his mouth presses into a hard line.
“What?” I ask.
“Nothing, nothing. It’s not my place.”
My stomach drops. I don’t think this is about Fiona anymore. “Say it, it’s okay.”
He sighs again. “I wanted to say how good you’ve been for Liam. He’s happier since you’ve been around. Don’t take this the wrong way, but there’s a piece of me that wanted to hate you, probably because in some ways you remind me of Fiona. I know you’re going to leave and break my best friend’s heart. But I also know that’s not your fault and Liam knew what he was getting into.”
Silence hangs heavy in the air between us as I process Nathan’s words. I don’t blame him for feeling that way. In fact, I like him even more knowing how protective he is of Liam and how much he cares. “Would it make you feel any better to know Liam’s heart won’t be the only one that’s broken?”
One side of Nathan’s mouth lifts in a bittersweet smile. “Part of me wants to say yes, but I wouldn’t wish that on you any more than I would him. You’re a good person, Joss. Having you here has been…well, it’s been great. I’m glad you decided on Honeywell, even if it’s temporary.”
“Me too.” I look down at my hands, which are clasped in front of me. Even after all these months, sometimes it’s so weird to see my bare left hand. When I raise my head again, Nathan’s brows are drawn together in concern. Unlike Liam, he’s not an easy, frequent smiler, but I have the sudden urge to make him smile and break the tension. “Would it be weird to ask you for a hug?”
“Part of me wants to say yes,” he repeats.
I swat at him, and he laughs under his breath as he opens his arms. I step into them and he gives me a brief but tight hug.
“You’ll make sure Liam is okay when I’m gone, right? I mean, I know you will, you’re his best friend, but…”
“Yeah, of course,” he says. “I know what it’s like to be the one left behind.” I wince at his words, and his hand darts out to rest on my arm. “That didn’t come out right. I didn’t say it to make you feel bad. Liam understands; he’d never expect you to uproot and move to Honeywell when your whole life and career are dependent on being in Toronto.”
When I simply nod, Nathan releases me and holds his arms out again. “Hug?”
Now I’m the one who laughs. I step into his arms again and he hugs me for longer this time, patting my back as he releases me. “I promise I’ll look out for him. I hope you have someone to look out for you?”
I think of Nat. I have a million and one acquaintances, but since the divorce, she feels like the only friend I can truly count on. Until I came to Honeywell, that is… “Yeah, I do. Thanks, Nathan.”
