I turn away abruptly to find Mr. Murphy watching me with curious eyes. Nathan is perched in one of the two small leather chairs to the side of the desk, looking resigned. Despite Mae saying dinner was almost ready, Seamus doesn’t appear in any hurry to get downstairs.
“I truly am pleased to finally meet you,” Seamus says. “Mae speaks of you often, and you’ve brought a renewed smile to the faces of my Doherty boys. Especially Liam.”
My mouth opens. I have no idea what to say, so a quiet “oh” is all that comes out. What could I say? That Liam and I are just friends? That he’s been great and made me feel welcome in Honeywell? That I already love Rex and wish I could be in his life forever?
“I don’t mean to put you on the spot, Josslyn,” Seamus says. “I know you’re only a temporary resident in our fair town. But I’m not a well man, and I don’t have time to pussyfoot around or speak only in pleasantries.”
“When were you ever one to speak only in pleasantries?” Nathan says. “You’ve always jumped right into the deep end of conversations, whether you just met someone or have known them for years.”
Seamus chuckles, nodding once in acknowledgement. “These lads of mine,” he says, flicking a hand toward Nathan and then beyond him as if indicating Liam downstairs, “they’ve weathered the storms of their childhood and somehow, by some miracle, have come out on the other side stronger.”
“I have a feeling you and Mae can take a lot of the credit for that,” I say.
“Ah, well, maybe.”
“No maybe about it,” Nathan murmurs.
I glance at him, but his head is lowered, gaze trained on his hands in his lap. He’s settled back in his seat now, as if he’s accepted he’s part of this conversation whether he likes it or not.
“I want to see my boys happy before I die,” Seamus says, looking directly at Nathan, whose whole body tenses as he shifts in his seat and raises his head. They lock eyes and something unspoken passes between them. I feel like I’m watching a private moment I’m not meant to see. It makes me as squirmy as Nathan was a moment ago.
I’m not used to this. Mae and Liam with their astute observations and what often feels like X-ray vision. Now Seamus. Is it something about Honeywell? Is this how people are and I’ve never experienced it because I’m used to professional relationships that rarely go deeper than the superficial? Or have I stepped into some strange alternate universe where people aren’t afraid to bare their souls and expose yours in the process?
“You know Liam doesn’t like it when you and Mae meddle,” Nathan says. “And none of us like it when you talk about dying.”
“Is it really meddling when it comes from a place of love?” Seamus asks.
“Yes.”
“Is it, though?”
“Yes,” Nathan says forcefully, although he looks like he’s trying not to laugh.
Seamus’s dramatic sigh ends on a coughing fit that has Nathan jumping out of his chair. Seamus waves him off, motioning for him to sit. Nathan hesitates and then lowers himself slowly back into his chair. Seamus takes a moment to catch his breath, and then turns back to me.
“All I’m saying,” he says, as if he didn’t nearly just cough up a lung, “is that sometimes you find what you’re looking for when and where you least expect it. And sometimes you didn’t even know you were looking for that thing to begin with.”
He reaches across his desk and turns one of the framed photos toward me. In the picture, a much younger Mae and Seamus stand with their arms around each other in front of The Temple Bar in Dublin. Their matching grins and flushed cheeks bring a smile to my face.
“Mae has told you about our whirlwind romance?” Seamus asks. At my nod, he says, “This was the day we met. The day my life changed forever.” His gaze flicks past me, and I follow it to the door where Mae is standing, clutching a tea towel in her hands.
“And they lived happily ever after,” she says quietly. Her eyes hold so much love as they gaze upon her husband, but I can see the sadness underneath too. “Dinner’s ready. There’ll be time for storytelling and meddling in the kids’ lives later.”
“Don’t encourage him,” Nathan says.
“You know there’s no stopping him either way.” Mae shoots me a wink and tilts her head toward the door, slinging an arm around me when I reach her. With a brief backward glance at her husband and Nathan, she leads me down the hall toward the stairs. “You’re officially one of us now, you know. I hope you’re ready for your first Murphy family dinner.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
With my own family having consisted of only my mom and me, I haven’t been to many big family dinners in my life. When I was onOur Thorny Family, the majority of episodes featured a family meal of some sort and it was always real food. I loved filming those scenes—my TV siblings and I would be chowing down on delicious food, whispering and giggling to each other and kicking each other playfully under the table, all while the adults had their scripted conversations.
Other than those days onOur Thorny Family, I’ve never really felt like a part of something bigger. No matter how gracious the host, I’ve always felt like a guest. An outsider. I didn’t allow myself to think too much about it because I knew it would mean examining my life more closely. Poking at that dark hole in my chest or acknowledging the whisper of a voice that told me I was lonely, that my life had little meaning outside my career.
Tonight’s dinner at the Murphys’ was the first time in ages I experienced a true sense of belonging. Sure, they had inside jokes and talked about things I didn’t understand, but they didn’t linger on those topics, and every single person at the table made sure I was part of the conversation. I didn’t once feel put on the spot or like the ‘celebrity in the room’.
Despite Mae’s protests, I insist on helping her clean up after dinner. Nathan surprises me by staying with us in the kitchen while Liam and Rex accompany Seamus to the living room. He and Mae do most of the talking while we clean up—Mae washing the dishes, me drying them, and Nathan putting them away—and I simply enjoy listening to them, basking in the glow of their familiarity and affection.
When we’re finished with our task, Nathan tells us he’s going to head home and have an early night for a change. He hugs Mae tightly, murmuring something I can’t hear. While Mae goes to the fridge to get him some leftovers to take home, Nathan turns to me and surprises me yet again by embracing me.
