Hearing him say the words out loud is like a punch to the gut. I grab my glass of water and down half in three huge gulps, wishing it were vodka. “Yes and yes. He was cheating, the media got wind of it, and they ran with it, as they do. That’s how I found out; he didn’t have the decency to tell me himself. He moved out and filed for divorce shortly afterward.”
“How long ago was that?”
I can’t tell what he’s thinking. His normally expressive face gives nothing away. “About nine months ago, I guess? The divorce was finalized the day before I came to Honeywell.”
He pauses with a forkful of cake halfway to his mouth. “Shit. He didn’t waste any time.”
This almost makes me laugh. “Exactly, which is why the media is all over it. The engagement would be newsworthy on its own because Alan is famous, but the fact he barely waited until the ink was dry on our divorce papers to propose to the woman he left me for…” I trail off, shrugging.
“Is that why you came to Honeywell? To get away from the media?”
“Partly. My friend Natalie said I was running away, and she’s not necessarily wrong. I’m used to being in the spotlight in some form; I was a child star who continued acting into my teens and then adulthood. My current claim to fame is those movies your sister loves, particularly the Christmas ones. Between that and the publicity from the divorce, I got tired of seeing my own face everywhere I looked. I wanted some peace to figure out who I am outside of everyone else’s expectations and assumptions.”
“How’s that going?” Liam asks.
This guy. He doesn’t ask the questions I expect him to. I kind of like that about him. “Too early to tell.”
That finally gets a smile out of him. It’s small, but it makes the skin around his eyes crinkle, which in turn makes my heart beat a little faster. He still hasn’t taken the bite of cake that stalled halfway to his mouth a moment ago, and now he turns the fork around, offering it to me.
My gaze darts between the cake and his eyes. He cocks one eyebrow, almost in challenge. Maybe he’s daring me to turn down a bite of Mae’s mouth-watering chocolate cake for a second time. Whatever the reason, I lean across the counter, keeping my eyes on his as I close my lips around the fork. I pull back slowly, wanting to make sure I get every morsel of rich, decadent chocolate. I only realize the move could be construed as sexual when Liam’s pupils widen.
Our eyes remain locked as I chew and swallow. The space between us practically buzzes with electricity. I swear I can feel heat radiating from his body, despite the counter between us. I think about our flirty banter earlier at the bar. Of Natalie’s insistence on me hooking up with someone. Of the jumbo box of condoms she sent me…
“Have you ever had a one-night stand?” The words are out before I can stop them. I’m not sure which of us is more surprised. I straighten abruptly and slap my hands over my face, which is likely turning the color of an overripe tomato. “Oh my god. Forget I asked that.”
The sound of Liam’s quiet laughter is closer than expected. I catch a whiff of his cologne a moment before he gently pries my hands away from my face. His smiling eyes meet mine, and he squeezes my hands briefly before releasing them. Why is he standing so close? Why is he so sexy? And, most importantly, why haven’t I developed a better filter between my brain and my mouth? One that doesn’t lead to embarrassing moments like this. I should stick to the lines other people write for me and not speak otherwise.
“Why do you want to know if I’ve ever had a one-night stand?”
I make a sound somewhere between a sigh and a groan. I’d like to repeat my request for him to forget I asked, but I guess you can’t really ask a question like that and expect to drop the topic. “Part of it is curiosity,” I say slowly. “And curiosity, in this case, is actually more nosiness than anything since we barely know each other. But you mentioned earlier about dating a few out-of-towners, and I was…”
“Curious,” he finishes, and I nod. “Hmm. Okay. What’s the other part?”
“What other part?”
“You said ‘part of it’ is curiosity. What’s the other part?”
I silently curse Natalie for planting ideas in my head. I’ve come this far, though… “See, my friend—the one who said I was running away by coming to Honeywell—she has this theory that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”
Liam’s eyebrows inch up. “Huh. And you thought I’d be a good candidate for this experiment?”
“No! Maybe? I don’t know! I mean, I’m attracted to you. And, granted, it’s been awhile, but I think you might be attracted to me too.” I pause, sucking in a breath. Liam doesn’t say anything, just gives one slow nod that makes my insides clench.
“I still haven’t decided if I agree with Natalie’s theory or not,” I say. “For one thing, it’s not really my style. Nat means well, but she doesn’t understand how it feels. It’s not about revenge or getting over my ex. Not entirely anyway. I don’t need revenge and, as awful as it sounds since we didn’t split up that long ago, I’m mostly overhim. Given time, I know I’ll also get over what happened.”
The sympathy in Liam’s eyes is too much. I lace my fingers in front of me and gaze down at them before continuing. “What Nat doesn’t understand is the fact it’s about more than that. Finding out Alan was cheating and having him leave me for another woman makes me feel undesirable. Right from the beginning, Alan was never all that interested in sex. He claimed he had a low libido, which I accepted because I loved him and trusted him, and there are more important things than sex.
“But when I found out he was cheating, it made me wonder if what he said was true or if it wasmehe didn’t want to have sex with. I feel like I was cast aside, like I didn’t matter. It made me question so many things, and it took me back to this deep-seated fear my former therapist uncovered a few years ago where I feel like everyone always leaves and I don’t really matter.”
I’m breathless when I finish speaking. My body deflates slightly and I lean against the counter for support. My cheeks flame once again as I realize I just word-vomited all my fears and insecurities over this poor man.
Liam’s mouth is pressed into a hard line, and a storm of emotions plays out in the dark depths of his eyes. “Your ex is an asshole,” he says matter-of-factly. “I can’t tell you how to feel or not feel, but trust me when I say it’shisloss.” He grips my upper arms and leans in so we’re eye to eye. “For what it’s worth, Joss, I think you’re incredibly sexy. Alan was a fool if he didn’t see that, and an even bigger fool for letting you go.”
My breath catches. His face is so close to mine I can see the fine lines around his eyes and the golden flecks in his dark irises. I feel completely exposed after my confession and his reassurances. It makes me fight against opposite impulses to flee from the room or step into the circle of his arms and beg him to hold me.
“Thank you.” My voice shakes around the words.
Liam releases me and straightens to his full height. “To answer your question from earlier, I’ve had a total ofoneone-night stand, and it was with an out-of-towner. It was shortly after my mom died and I just needed…” He exhales sharply and sticks his hands on his hips, bowing his head. “Release. I needed something to help me forget everything and everyone for a few hours before I completely fell apart.”
