Ivy and Hugh join us as we’re finishing up. Hugh resisted the face painting earlier, using his ‘weekend scruff’ as an excuse. However, I have a feeling Ivy is responsible for the elaborate balloon animal hat perched on his head. I have no idea where Kitty and Petra got to, but I hope wherever they are they’re having as much fun as we are.
Kieran and I exchange shirts to a chorus of snickers from Ivy and Hugh. He holds up his t-shirt, smirking as he takes in the sequin-lined shamrock with the words ‘Kiss Me I’m Irish’ inside, along with a bunch of small shamrocks and red kissy lips. Turning my attention to the shirt he painted for me, I’m hit with unexpected emotion when I see he’s painted a giant cartoon sun, complete with cheesy smiling face. Written in script at the top are the words ‘I shine’ and under the sun he’s written ‘brighter than the sun’.
“I love it.” And god help me, I think I lovehim. This isn’t a new revelation; I’ve thought it many times before. I just haven’t said it out loud because we’ve known each other for less than two months.
I get a text from Kitty, who informs me she and Petra have been roped into helping with the game booths for the rest of the event. The four of us agree we’ve seen and done everything we want to, but I’m not ready for this day to be over, so I invite everyone back to my place for dinner.
“I’d suggest going out to eat, but…” I wave a hand at the unicorn head painted on my right cheek, then at Ivy and Kieran’s painted faces.
Kieran suggests he and Hugh go pick up pizza while Ivy and I head back to my place. Despite finding the suggestion a bit odd, I agree and we troop to our cars together before splitting up.
“What do you suppose he’s up to?” Ivy asks when we get in my car.
“I was wondering that myself.”
“Maybe he’s planning a special heart-shaped pizza to match the heart eyes he gets every time he looks your way.”
I’m in the middle of putting the car into reverse as she says this, and I yank so hard on the gearshift I nearly break it. She doubles over laughing. A sound that’s slightly too hysterical to be a laugh escapes me in response. “Heart eyes?”
“Well, yeah,” Ivy says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “The boy is clearly in love with you. And you obviously feel the same way.”
Stunned by her words, I shift the car back into park and drop my hands to my lap. They rest there for a second before moving to my hair, then back to grip the steering wheel.
“Mer. Love is a good thing, remember? We like love.” When I don’t respond, Ivy says, “Kieran makes you happy, right?”
“So happy,” I say faintly, staring straight ahead out the windshield. “I was adrift and then there he was. I was afraid to let him in, afraid to rely on him, but he’s…he’s my anchor. He keeps me from drifting off in a sea of grief, keeps me anchored in the here and now.” I look at Ivy. All trace of humor has fled her face, replaced by a mixture of understanding and concern. “It scares me sometimes how much I depend on him to keep me grounded.”
“It’s okay to depend on people, though.” Now she sounds like Kieran. How did I get so lucky to know this many wise people? “Needing help and learning to lean on someone doesn’t make you some distressed damsel who needs saving. It just means you’re human.”
I nod slowly, turning my attention back to the gearshift and carefully pulling it into reverse.
“You know we’re all here for you, right? Me, Hugh, Kieran, and all your other friends. And it’s okay to need us. You’re still learning to navigate a world without your mom. That’s scary and new, and it takes time. I didn’t have anyone to depend on when my parents died.”
My head jerks in her direction before my eyes dart back to the road. When Ivy’s parents died, she was sent to live with her aunt and uncle, who never failed to let her know they only took her in out of obligation. “I’m so sorry, Ivy.”
“I didn’t say that to make you feel bad,” she says. “It’s just a fact. But you have people who love you and want to be here for you. So let us. And don’t think it means there’s something wrong with you for needing us.”
I blink rapidly, trying to stop my eyes from stinging. Heavy silence fills the car. I want to get back to where we were a few minutes ago, so I say, “I wish I could hug you right now.”
She laughs. “Give me an extra long hug when we get to your place.”
So I do, and then we go inside and open a bottle of wine while we wait for the guys. They arrive fifteen minutes later, Hugh carrying two boxes of pizza from Luigi’s, and Kieran hiding something behind his back. When he motions for me to follow him down the hall, I traipse after him to my bedroom.
The moment I enter my room, he wraps one arm around my waist and pulls me to him for a long, deep kiss. “Today was fun, yeah?”
All I can manage is a breathless “Mmhmm” in response. Kieran grins and pulls his other arm from behind his back, presenting a bouquet of daffodils.
“I saw you eyeing them earlier today,” he says. “I asked Hugh to stop so I could pick some up. They remind me of you.” He glances past me to where the t-shirt he painted for me is hanging to dry. His smile turns soft and sweet as his eyes return to mine. “You really do shine brighter than the sun, Meredith. You’ve pulled me into your orbit and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
Now I’m breathless for a whole different reason. His words have knocked the air right out of me, and I struggle to drag in a breath.
Kieran releases me to go lay the flowers on my desk. When he returns, he faces me head on, gently gripping both my arms. “I loved seeing you have fun today. I know it’s hard for you to believe sometimes, but you really are a bright light. And when you smile at me…” He trails off and blows out a sharp breath. That soft, sweet smile returns to his face, turning me to mush. “What I’m trying to say is I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”
“I wish I could too,” I whisper. “For what it’s worth, Iwantto.”
“It’s worth a lot. I know you’re dealing with some difficult things right now, but you’ll get there. I believe in you.”
“And you believe in us?” I don’t know where the words come from. I didn’t think I needed reassurance about our relationship, especially after a day like today, but I guess my subconscious has other ideas.
