CHAPTER ONE
A door slams somewhere, startling me awake. My eyes pop open to find Bono giving me a moody stare from a vintage black-and-whiteJoshua Treeposter. The album of the same name is playing on repeat, and “With or Without You” is starting for at least the third time tonight.
My gaze slides to the person I’m currently tangled in bed with. Her dark brown hair has fallen over her eyes, and her pink lipstick is somehow smudged. Her face is soft, relaxed, making her look even younger than she does when she’s awake.
“Kitty?” I whisper. “Kitty, we fell asleep again.”
Wide brown eyes fly open to meet mine. Kitty’s startled expression eases into a rueful smile as she flops onto her back. “Sorry, Meredith.” She pushes herself into a seated position and gathers her hair to one side, braiding it so quickly her fingers are a blur. “I just feel so comfortable when you’re around.”
“Well, that’s what I’m here for.” I sit up beside her and give her shoulder a squeeze. “You good? I should probably head home, but if you need me I’ll gladly stay awhile longer.”
“I’m good. But before you go…” She hops up from the bed and takes the few steps separating it from her desk. Despite the cell-like size of the room, she has more stuff crammed in here than I have in half of my house. “My mom sent another care package and I put an assortment of cookies and stuff in a container for you. I threw in extras of those ginger snaps you like.” She points to the plastic dish on her desk as she fishes her purse out from where it’s stashed in a drawer. I eye the container longingly, envisioning the Food Network-worthy baked goods I know are inside.
Returning my attention to Kitty, I accept the money she’s holding out with a nod of thanks, and tuck it into my pocket. “Now,” I say, stepping forward to wrap my arms around the petite brunette, “what are you going to remember as you head into next week?”
Her breath ruffles my hair, either from a sigh or a laugh. Maybe a combination of both. “I’m going to remember I’m strong and smart and capable. And that one bad grade isn’t going to affect my entire future. And neither will the fact I made a complete ass of myself in front of Petra.”
“Exactly. And you’re going to tell Petra you changed your mind and want to study with her after all, right? And when she asks you out like I expect she will, I promise not to betoosmug.”
She gives my arm a playful smack as she releases me. Despite her quick turn toward the desk, I don’t miss her pleased smile or the rosy tinge in her cheeks. “Come on, I’ll walk you out.”
“It’s okay, Miles is on duty and he’s good about walking me to my car and waiting ’til I drive away. You stay here and work on what you’re going to say to Petra.”
She huffs out a laugh, waiting for me to don my jacket before handing me the container of cookies. “Fine. I’ll see you soon?”
“Definitely. I’m only ever a few clicks away.” We never make specific plans to see each other again; it’s against the rules. I give her a quick one-armed hug before stepping out of her dorm room into the hall. By some miracle, Kitty’s room is mostly soundproof, but the second the door opens you’re greeted by sounds from people wandering the corridor or congregating in the lounge down the hall. You’re also greeted by a variety of scents, many of which are not exactly pleasant.
Still, whenever I come to visit Kitty, the noise and the questionable smells make me miss my own college days. Those days—the parties, the friends I made, the ability to get only a few hours of sleep and still function properly—were some of my best ones. I miss the lifestyle more than the classes themselves, although nerd that I am, I mostly enjoyed those too. If only I could pick and choose my classes without being forced to takes ones I didn’t like in order to get a degree, I might have considered becoming one of those people who remains a perpetual student well into their twenties or beyond.
On my way past the lounge, I run into the same guy I always see when I visit Kitty. He never speaks, not even a hello, just sweeps his gaze over me and smiles knowingly. He’s seen me coming out of Kitty’s room countless times, so I assume he thinks we’re lovers. The current bed-head state of my blond curls probably doesn’t help.
I flash him what my friends call my best megawatt smile, paired with a cheeky little finger wave. If you can’t change a perv’s mind, let him think what he wants.
Miles, one of the youngest campus security guards, is coming up the sidewalk when I step outside. “Good timing, Meredith.” His dark eyes brighten when they settle on the container in my hands. “I see you’ve been visiting Kitty again. She gave me some of her mama’s double chocolate chunk cookies and I asked her if she could have them sent by the truckload next time.”
“The woman has some serious skills.” I fall into step beside him as we head toward the parking lot. Having Miles here is the perfect excuse to pop open the lid and see what’s inside. I spy the chocolate cookies he mentioned, so I hold the container in his direction. When he starts to protest, I raise the dish higher, letting him get a whiff of all that chocolaty goodness. He grins as he plucks out a cookie and immediately bites into it.
We reach my car, where Miles does a quick visual sweep, checking underneath and shining his flashlight in the back seats. My eyes follow him, as they always do when he walks me to my car. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think he was cute, with his tightly curled black hair, dark skin, warm brown eyes, and beautiful smile. He’s a gentleman too, and it goes beyond ‘just doing his job’, which is the line he’s given me several times after I’ve thanked him.
Miles gives the all clear, so I unlock the car and he opens the driver’s-side door for me. I slide inside, tossing my purse onto the passenger seat and setting the container of cookies carefully beside it. I’ve just fastened my seatbelt when I realize Miles is watching me intently.
“I was thinking we should try to see each other off campus sometime,” he says. “You know, on purpose.”
“Like a date?” I’ve been waiting for this. I’m actually surprised it took him this long to ask.
“Something like that, yeah. I’d wear normal clothes instead of my uniform. We’d eat something other than cookies. Talk about stuff other than the weather or our jobs.”
I chuckle, bowing my head. I may have been expecting this, but part of me hoped I was misreading him and he wouldn’t ask me out. I like our casual, friendly repartee, and I don’t want to say something that sounds like a line or a straight-out refusal. I have too much going on right now to commit to anything else, and yet I do believe in the concept of ‘never say never’. If things were different, I’d go out with Miles in a heartbeat. Finally, I raise my head again to meet his eyes. “Yeah. We should.”
He’s silent for a beat, his brows inching up like he’s waiting for more.
“Catch me next time you see me and we’ll talk,” I tell him, cringing inwardly.
He releases the car door to clutch at his chest. “Oh, it’s like that, is it? You won’t even give me your number?”
I swallow a sigh. “I’m not saying no. I’m just saying…not right now. I’m sorry.”
His dark eyes turn solemn. Maybe he sees something in my face that tells him I’m being sincere. Or maybe he can see how truly exhausted I am underneath my bright smile and chipper personality. Whatever the reason, his lips curve slightly and he nods. “Gotcha. Maybe someday.” He reaches for the door again, hesitating before closing it. “Will you keep sharing Kitty’s mama’s cookies with me, though?”
