For a moment, he didn’t answer. “That wouldn’t be wise, Diana.”
“But we didn’t… You didn’t…”
“No, sweetheart,” he said, his voice warm.
“It was lovely…” But it had only made her want more. She was greedy for him. She knew there was more—she had found a book of lurid drawings in her father’s library. Up on the top shelf, where he must have thought she couldn’t reach. Her face had burned as she’d turned the pages, and her heart had raced.
Frustrated, Diana tucked her bodice into place and eased her skirts down over her trembling thighs. “I expected us to…”
“Not in a carriage. Not your first time. You deserve better.”
She doubted it could ever be better. Especially with anyone else.
“While making the beast with two backs, to quote Shakespeare, is devoutly to be wished, rushing it, and here,would be a travesty.” He stroked her arm. “Nothing will equal lying in your marriage bed with your husband and pleasuring each other for many hours.”
She thrust away the image of him naked in her bed while he helped her into her pelisse. Buttoning it to the neck, she snatched up her bonnet. “That would depend on the husband,” she said crisply, so disappointed, she thought she might cry. Had being with her pleased him at all?
He put his hands on her shoulders to steady her fumbling fingers and tied the ribbons of her bonnet beneath her chin. “We must be nearing the outskirts of Combe Down.”
“But, Ballantine, you received no enjoyment from this.”
He raised an amused eyebrow. “I enjoyed it immensely, and I thank you for the privilege.” He lifted her onto his lap, kissed her deeply, pulling her close, making her giddy and restless with the hard length of his maleness and the scent of herself upon him. Did he wish the future could be different? That they might be together? Or was she just another woman in his life? A naïve one, at that.
She must get control of herself. Ballantine wasn’t the prince who would one day come to claim her and snatch her away from the villain.
Ballantine settled back on the opposite seat and raised the blinds. Moments later, the carriage pulled up outside Tims’s home.
Diana tugged on her gloves. “Finding Anne for me has brought me peace. You have been everything I wished for and more, Ballantine.”
His eyes looked sad as he scrutinized her face. As if it might be the last time he saw her. “You’ve been everything I knew you would be, sweetheart. I will miss you very much.”
She had hoped he’d say he loved her but didn’t expect it. Nor would he want to hear her declaration of love. “I won’t forget you, or what we shared. Never.”
“Oh, you will in time. Once you marry.”
She caught her breath at the sudden, stark pain in his eyes.
Tims hurried out of the cottage with her bag. Once she’d settled in the carriage, it put an end to any further intimacy between her and Damian.
The maid’s eyes widened as she looked from Diana to Damian, then she ducked her head to examine her reticule.
The countryside swept past the window, and within the hour, a few small cottages were replaced with noisy, bustling streets and larger buildings as they threaded their way through the increasingly heavy traffic, the air now filled with the smell of smoke and horse manure. The carriage was taking her to her destination and him away from her.Forever?She blinked as tears hovered hot behind her lids. He must not see them.
“Ballantine…” The carriage juddered to a stop a few townhouses away from the Howards’. The groom jumped down, opened the door, and lowered the steps. Ballantine shook his head to silence her, then left the carriage to assist her and Tims to the footpath. Diana stood, her legs a little shaky, while she took her portmanteau from the groom.
With a brief nod of farewell, Ballantine leaped inside the carriage once more, and the door closed. The coachman ordered the horses to walk on, and the carriage proceeded down the road. Diana watched it until it was out of sight and tried to pull herself together. Then she turned and hurried up the street to Penny’s parents’ townhouse, with Tims following. Would what had occurred between her and Ballantine show on her face? She was no longer the young innocent, whatever Ballantine had said. She thought differently. Saw the world differently. And her heartthrobbed as if it would break. It would be difficult to hide such a monumental change in her. Would Penny sense it?
Her steps faltered, then with a deep breath of the cool, Bath air, she firmed her shoulders and walked on.
At the top of the three-story townhouse steps, she rapped on the brass knocker. The Howards’ footman opened it.
“Lady Diana?” The butler, a man of late middle years with grizzled hair, greeted her at the door. He looked puzzled as he glanced up and down the street. “I didn’t hear the coach.” He smiled. “It is good to see you again.”
Diana returned his smile. “It is an age since I last visited. I hope you are well, Laycock?”
“I am indeed, thank you, Lady Diana.” He snapped his fingers, and the footman hurried to take her things. “Miss Penelope is in the morning room with her mother. Perhaps you would prefer to remove the travel dust after your journey before you join them?”
“Yes, I would. Thank you.”
