She stood by as Ash assisted Grandmama into the coach. Before he followed, he turned to Thea. “Don’t take any nonsense from young Julia.”
“I don’t intend to.”
He paused, a foot on the step, his solemn gaze still holding hers. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Do nothing dangerous without me there to watch your back,” Thea said with a half-smile, desperate to have him leave on a lighter note.
Ash huffed out a laugh. “I’ll try not to.”
He ducked his head and entered the coach. The footman put up the steps and closed the door.
Thea watched until the vehicle disappeared down the avenue of ancient trees. She swallowed, a sob blocking her throat.
Julia emerged from the house. She came over and put a hand on her arm. “Are you sad to see them go, Thea?”
“I am a little. I like your riding hat.”
Julia patted the straw bonnet lined with purple silk. “It was a gift from Lady Trentham.”
“How good of her. Shall we have our ride?”
Her brown eyes brightened. “Oh yes, please.”
“Let’s see what mounts the stable master recommends for us.”
“As long as it’s not a fat old mare.” Julia settled the hat on her head. “I am an excellent rider.”
“We shall have to go by his advice,” Thea said, imagining Julia clearing the fences and disappearing. Ash was cool enough with her without having to explain that, she thought, bemused.
“I enjoyed seeingyour grandfather again very much. Charming man,” Lady Trentham said from where she sat covered by a coach rug. “One does not always like the family we are joined to by marriage.”
Ash’s smile was strained. “It was good to see him. I wish I could stay longer.” His grandfather had farewelled him in the library. The dog lay beside the earl’s chair, and he reached down absently to toy with Whisky’s gray fur. Grandfather had lost his beloved hounds a few years back and appeared to enjoy having a dog again. Even Mouse appeared to be coming round. When Whisky attempted to touch noses, the cat no longer showed her claws but stalked haughtily away.
“I knew Farnborough’s father,” his grandfather had said. “A terrible gambler. He died leaving mortgaged properties for his son to inherit. But perhaps Farnborough righted the ship after his marriage to Bannockburn’s widow.”
Ash resisted telling him that his engagement was off. He was a coward, he supposed, but he got great pleasure in seeing his grandfather happy. Already his face was a better color. But his reticence was also because he suspected what lay between Thea and himself was neither clear-cut nor at an end. Had he been wrong to think she enjoyed being in his arms, his kiss? A man usually knew if a woman wanted him. He needed to know the reason why she feared their marriage. A little distance might give them both time to think matters through. As he took his leave, he promised to return as soon as he could.
The miles passed, and Lady Trentham nodded, her head drooping. And what had occurred between him and Thea in the portrait gallery returned to plague him. Her blunt statement had rocked him. His once prized bachelorhood no longer appealed, and he felt oddly lonely. He frowned. Here he was, believing them well matched when she did not feel the same.
While involved with rescuing Julia and discovering what lay behind Farnborough’s murderous acts, he had not realized how much Thea had come to mean to him. In the gallery, he had been sorely tempted to plunder her mouth and sweep her into a passionate embrace, but fear that he was rushing things held him back. Would it have made a difference? Too late now. The blunt truth of it was that she had been pressed into this engagement and denied the freedom he enjoyed to choose who was to be in her future.
Ash had never seriously asked her what it was she wished for herself. Why had she been busy avoiding potential suitors at the ball? Did she prefer never to marry? There were women who chose not to, of course, dried-up old maids for the most part, but he was pretty sure a girl with such a thirst for life like Thea was not one of them. And the way she responded to him convinced him she wanted a lover, even while she denied herself.
Ash needed to better understand her. He was tempted to ask her grandmother for some insight into what was dear to Thea’s heart. But going behind her back didn’t sit well with him. He believed her to be curious, brave, and kind, but what she yearned for in her life eluded him. It hurt like the dickens, far more than he thought possible, to know whatever that was, it wasn’t him.
“You have frowned and been deep in thought for most of the last fifteen miles,” Lady Trentham said, opening her eyes and taking him by surprise. “What troubles you? Can I help?”
“Has Thea ever led you to believe she doesn’t want to marry, Lady Trentham?”
Her eyes widened. “Not marry? Of course she does. What makes you believe otherwise?”
“Perhaps she just doesn’t want to marry me.”
“What woman in her right mind wouldn’t?” She gazed at him anxiously. “I don’t understand, Grainger. What has happened?”
Ash sighed. “Thea wishes to end the engagement.”
“What? Foolish girl. Well, she said nothing of it to me. It must be nerves. All young gels suffer from it before they marry.” She leaned forward. “Be patient and give her time, Grainger.”
