Charles rode home, holding Nellie tightly against him. He thought her face had gained a little color, but still, fear crept in. What if he lost her?Dear God, he couldn’t bear to lose her!
Why did it take something like this for him to realize how deep and absolute was his need for her? He simply could not live without her. Nellie was his anchor, his passion, his peace.
Charles sat at Nellie’s bedside, waiting for the doctor, resting his head in his hands. He’d instructed the staff not to tell his mother until there was good news. Nellie would wake soon, wouldn’t she?
Over an hour had passed before she opened her eyes. She reached up with a smile to touch his cheek.
“Nellie, love! You gave me the devil of a scare.” He caught her hand and pressed it to his lips.
“What happened?”
“A dog frightened your horse, and you fell.”
“Coventry is a nag, Charles, and you should sell him.”
“I intend to.” He smiled. “The doctor will be here soon. How do you feel, sweetheart?”
She put a shaky hand to her head. “My head aches intolerably.” She stretched out her limbs carefully. “I’m a bit bruised in an unmentionable place.” Her eyes widened and went dark with distress. “The baby, Charles, have I…?”
“Let’s wait to hear the doctor’s opinion, darling.”
She closed her eyes, and a tear escaped down her cheek. “Oh, I hope I haven’t hurt the baby. I should have refused. But I didn’t want to embarrass you again.”
He smoothed her hair back from her face. “What nonsense. How could you embarrass me?”
“I did once before. When your friends discovered the article I wrote.”
“I’d forgotten about it. I wasn’t embarrassed. I was proud of you, and I was a damn fool for not telling you at the time. I was angry with Walsh. Jealous of your friendship. I regret it deeply. All the time lost.”
“Oh, my darling. I have been jealous, too. But you had no need to feel that way about Walsh. He sought to embarrass me when I failed to invite him back to the salon.”
“He’d best stay out of my way, then.” Charles raised his eyebrows. “I gather my Aunt Frances was behind you riding today. No need to tell me,” he said when Nellie failed to answer. “I could see by her demeanor. She looked contrite, most unlike herself. And she wishes to come and see you. I shall send her packing tomorrow.”
Nellie reached up and grasped hold of his sleeve. “Oh, no, you mustn’t. Let her come and see me. Your mother might have need of her. You cannot blame your aunt. It was my decision to ride. No one forced me.”
He frowned. “Well, I am not ready to forgive Frances yet.”
Nellie pulled his head down to hers. “Let’s not allow her to upset us,” she said with an anxious look. “Not when…” her hand went to her stomach.
“I love you so much, Nellie. When I feared you might have…” He couldn’t say the word. He impatiently flicked the tears away. What was wrong with him? He had only cried a couple of times in his life. Not even when they lost Michael or when his father had died. He was ashamed. It seemed so weak.
She reached up to hold his face in her hands. “Oh, Charles,” she said, her voice shaking with emotion. “You love me?”
“I do, deeply. I should have told you a long time ago, Nellie.” Had he been frightened to even admit it to himself?
“I wish you had because I couldn’t tell you how I feel, Charles,” she gently admonished him. “I thought you wouldn’t want to hear it.”
He gazed at her tenderly. “Tell me now.”
“I love you with my heart and soul,” she said simply. “But I was always aware that I wasn’t your choice.” She swallowed. “I knew you loved Drusilla, you see, and might have married her instead of me.”
His eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Nellie! What nonsense.” His gaze shifted to her mouth, and he traced a line over her bottom lip. “I was smitten with you the moment I met you. I wanted to get close to you, but you always held me at arm’s length. Beverly told Jason she thought I was in love with you back before we married.” He smiled. “But I despaired that you doubted me. You thought I lied to you. That the boy was mine.”
“I was foolish not to trust you.” She smoothed back his hair from his forehead. “But we knew so little about each other. The man I’ve come to know would never lie to me. But I know he isn’t your son.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Marian told you?”
She nodded with a glimmer of a smile.
