The sticky, bitter taste of regret seemed to coat her tongue. “That’s not what I wanted at all.”
She wanted her kids to have their dad. To have everything.
When Gavin had stepped back, she’d done all she could to fill that gap. Maybe…did she not need to?
They did the silent thing again until she stood to go check on Travis.
Was she the one making things harder than they needed to be? She was, she knew. And she hadn’t even realized it.
Suddenly, she really wanted to check on Travis, to ensure he was okay.
She drew a deep breath. This conversation with Gavin was just really uncomfortable, and she wanted to get away from it. From failing.
So she did the hard thing. She sat back down. “I’m sorry you thought that’s what I wanted.”
“Besides, it’s not me you need to worry about on the Rachel and Travis front.” Gavin pursed his lips, then gave a wry smile. “It’s Mama. She’s got ideas for all her little chicks, and Mother Hen did not have designs on you ending up with her Travis.”
Rachel sucked in a breath. “What do you think I should do about her?”
“Well, I think you and Travis have to decide together what’s important and what’s not. If she’s important—and, I kinda think she should be, but it’s not my call—then you work it out with her.”
That was a problem, then, because, “I have no idea how to work anything out with your mom.”
“Show her how much you care for Travis. She’ll come around.”
Rachel nodded. She could do that. She wasn’t sure it would be enough, but it was something she could do.
“It won’t hurt the situation that all I want, Rach, is for you to be happy.” This time he smiled a genuine smile. “If that means it’s with Travis, then it means you’re happy with Travis. He’s a good guy.”
“That’s not what you used to say.” In fact, that was the opposite of what he used to say.
Gavin shrugged. “He takes things too casually at work. But I assume he’s treating you right, and it helps the way he looks at you like you’re everything. He’s never looked at anyone that way.”
That brought a whole dash of wet to her eyes.
“I want the same for you. The happiness,” she said.
“I screwed up my chance…twice.” He stilled and closed his eyes.
“But did Dakota really make you happy?”
He opened his eyes, seemed to study the vacant air before him. “Dakota gave me hope.”
“Then I’m sorry you lost that.” Rachel fidgeted with her hands because she wasn’t quite sure what to do with them. She should probably reach out to him. But that didn’t feel right, either. “Hope is a good thing.”
“I’m not sorry it’s over.” He yawned, closed his eyes again. “Because it shouldn’t take someone else to give me that hope. Not when I’ve got two of the best little miracles puking their hearts out with me.”
“You’re going to be more actively involved with them?” That would not suck. Not at all. The boys needed this from Gavin.
“Yeah.” He nodded, opening his eyes briefly again to stare at the boys with a total look of love. “I don’t want to miss any more.”
That look he gave them made her heart do flips on their behalf. They had a good dad. He wanted good things for her. And that meant a lot.
He was also wrong. She hadn’t built all of this. They’d done it as a team, and now they could both move forward, together as co-parents who wanted each other to be happy.
Even if that happiness was with other people.
“You need to get some sleep.” She moved to him, tucked him in like she’d done with the boys, and patted his arm.
