But then from the darkness, she said, "I'm so glad you're here, Sloan."
And she turned into my embrace to kiss me lightly on the mouth.
I kissed her back. "Get some sleep."
She smiled against my lips, and I hoped to hell that things might just be okay.
CHAPTERTWENTY-THREE
MAYA
Sloan was here, and he held me loosely while he slept. Being the big spoon to my little spoon while his breaths gently whispered against my hair.
God, I'm in love with you…His words hung in the air, taunting me.
Um… so that had happened. I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth, while every muscle in my body seemed on edge.
I closed my eyes and tried to force myself to relax into Sloan's embrace.
I mean, I had him here with me. It was what I wanted. What I'd dreamed about for so many nights alone.
The weight of the soft duvet and Sloan's embrace should've grounded me. But as I lay there, lost in the haze of my fear, nothing felt right. With Sloan's words, the world went slightly out of focus. Not enough to throw me into total disarray, but enough that if I thought about it long enough, I'd get a headache.
And I couldn't stop thinking about it.
I opened my eyes, willing myself to sink deeper into the mattress and find solace in the safety of Sloan's presence.
God, I'm in love with you…
But, no, his words continued to play on repeat in my mind. A ridiculous loop that wouldn't allow me to drift into sleep.
There wasn't even anything for me to organize.
My body shook a little as I searched for calm that wouldn't come. Even if there was something to distract me, nothing would take my mind off the words that he'd said. Or worse, the way the truth was obvious in his eyes as he spoke them.
Gah, this wasn't what I'd signed up for in the marriage with Sloan.
He'd fallen in love with me.
And now that he'd said the words, he couldn't take them back.
Sure, he could apologize, but the play had already been called. Even if he could take them back, it didn't matter. This was how he felt, and that didn't change.
I tried to time my breaths with his, but where his were even, mine just came out shaky.
We said we wouldn't fall in love. That'd been the cornerstone of this marriage. The reason it could work.
We'd promised to keep love out of it.
CHAPTERTWENTY-FOUR
SLOAN
I'd told her I was in love with her, and things went off center between us. The weight of my confession pulled us in different directions. I wasn't upset that I'd told Maya how I felt about her or how things had changed for me. Yeah, I was sorry as fuck that I'd just dropped the words like an explosive in the middle of our night together after the most amazing orgasm of my life.
There were so many ways I could've told her how I felt that would've made a helluva lot more sense.
That was fine, though. I’d said something that changed the foundation we'd built our marriage on. It would take time to adjust.
