His smile was everything. He wanted this. This was good for him. But then why hadn’t he mentioned it?
Then again, why would he? She hadn’t exactly been a real girlfriend he should confide in.
“You’re going back to cooking on TV?” she asked, toying with the stem on her champagne flute.
“Nosh is going exclusive to one of the big streaming giants. This is a big hop for me.” He still tapped the paper against his thighs. “Something that’s important. I was gonna wait until I know more before I said anything, but you should know since you’re here. You can be stoked, too.”
Stoked? Not really. Not like he’d tossed a dessert in the Crock-Pot or whipped up a batch of homemade noodles. Shewouldbe excited about that.
Not this.
This left a metallic flavor on her tongue.
He wouldn’t be her Ethan up the street anymore. He’d be back to Ethan Greene, celebrity chef, on television weekly, and all that entailed.
She brushed a curl away from her forehead, wishing they’d styled it up so her neck wouldn’t be so sweaty.
Honestly, she couldn’t have been more surprised if Ethan had leaned over, told her he had great news, and then sucker punched her in the stomach. Or if he’d invited Tony to come along to the wedding with them. Or if he’d shown up in a pink sequined suit to play matchy-match with Barbie.
He turned toward her, reaching for her free hand, stroking the fleshy part between her thumb and forefinger with his thumb. What a remarkably cozy feeling, if she wasn’t experiencing an odd cold finger of dread along her spine.
“Where, uh, do Fiona and I fit in in all of this?” she asked, cautiously. “After everything we talked about in the car on the way here.”
The air snapped and crackled between them. “We do our best, I think. That’s all we can do, yeah? We keep on.”
She nodded. “Of course, yes. I mean, you do have Annie, and she has to come first.”
“And I’m working this angle on my career that’s going to take loads of time for a bit. There will be events like this to attend. But I’ll definitely need a date.” He waggled his eyebrows like she would enjoy this.
Oh, dear hell.She would not.
Why did it feel like she was, once again, being sidelined? Relegated to the bits of time he had left in his day. She’d lived this life before. She’d left it behind.
She swallowed as her heart sort of stopped beating. Painfully so. Like she was going to pass out and the relief of being unconscious might actually be welcome.
Things weren’t always bad for her with the whole sideline thing. But when life soured with Tony, instead of fixing the recipe, she tried to enjoy lemons by themselves. That hadn’t worked, and when she’d realized this, it was too late to fix things. Her ex got used to Em enjoying her citrus straight, and he wasn’t willing to alter his reality for her.
She’d known better than to believe celebrity Ethan was different than all the others she’d known. There was a reason she’d always disappeared before—because she wasn’t good enough on her own.
“Em.” He touched her waist intimately, like they were a couple for public consumption.
She’d need to invest in a new selfie stick, and just hope she didn’t burn anything down this time.
“You’re going back,” she confirmed. “To the life before.”
He nodded. “It’ll ensure Annie has a good college fund, and business at the restaurants will really skyrocket with the constant advertising.”
A good start…
“I had this opportunity once.” She gestured between them. “In California with Fiona’s dad. I…uh…stopped chasing that dream,” she said, calm and totally put together. “I stopped chasing it because it’s not what I want.”
She stared at him, her chest heaving, and she wasn’t entirely certain which dream she was referring to in that second.
The dream about being an illustrator.
Or the dream that included him.
His expression fractured a smidge with each inhale and exhale. “You don’t want it, or you don’t think you deserve it?”
