They didn’t leave her. She always had a place to land, even if she felt like it was a minefield because of the rest of the world.
That’s why it was better to stay in the air.
“I’m sorry,” she said, meaning every single syllable.
He reached for her hand, linking their fingers together. “What are you sorry for?”
For so much. But mostly, “I’m sorry that happened to you.”
He paused for a long beat before adding, “No idea where my parents are. I thought about looking them up once I hit it big, but decided against it. I mean, they wanted nothing to do with me when I was a nobody, so why let them in when I’m finally somebody?”
“You were never a nobody.” Of that, she was certain. A guy like Tanner? With a heart like his? Yeah, he was never a nobody.
“I couldn’t even open my mouth to speak to anyone I found attractive,” he admitted, and his cheeks turned a little red with the admission. “Couldn’t form a sentence or a vowel even. But then you showed up and the stakes got higher because I seriously wanted to be able to talk to you.”
She used the wall to pull herself closer to him, their legs brushing as they both stayed afloat.
“I walk into a room and there’s this girl playing Twister,” he said, holding her hostage with his stare. “And she’s the most gorgeous person I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s not even the aesthetic—though I seriously appreciate the aesthetic.”
“That’s a bit of an exaggeration.” Still, she smiled at the compliment.
“It’s my story. I get to tell it the way I want to tell it.” He dropped her hand to push off and float on his back, staring at the sky while the sun set over the Rockies.
“So you walk in the room and my extreme beauty smacks you upside the head,” she confirmed as he floated nearby.
The quiet waves of the water soothed. They always did.
“Just like that.” He snapped his fingers. “I think, up to that second, I was still running. Just differently. Then you were there, and I didn’t want to run anymore.”
“So you literally snapped out of it?” That didn’t seem super plausible. But what did she know, really?
“Fuck no.” He lifted his head to catch her gaze. “I channeled Linx. Whatyougot was the Linx special.”
“You pretended to be someone else?” she asked. Yes, she was slightly appalled.
He nodded. Tipped his feet down so he was vertical in the water. “It was the only way I could talk.”
“You’re saying I wasn’t even talking to you?” she asked, because wasn’t he the one going on about honesty?
“Oh, it was still me,” Tanner said. “But it was me pretending to be Linx.”
“I think I like Linx. I think I fell for him a little.” The admission would only cause pain later, when she left, but it felt good to leave that little nugget behind.
“He’s with Becca. Happily so. I guess you’re stuck with me.”
“I think I like you more, anyway.” She reached and squeezed his arm, letting her fingers linger there against the defined muscles.
“Don’t tell Linx that. He’ll take it as a challenge. Try to convince you he’s the shit and then I’ll have to up my game and then it’ll be a whole competition, and no one will win. Everyone will be pissed. It’ll be a thing.”
“Why do I think you’re not exaggerating?” she asked.
“No idea.”
The silence settled around them again. Not uncomfortable or anything that gave her hives, but the baton was clearly hers now. Her time to share since he’d laid out his heart for her.
But she couldn’t talk about the song. The fallout. The fear that it’d come back into her life and remind her she wasn’t good enough. Even the water couldn’t soothe that ache.
“I still talk to my parents,” she said, instead. “I think you’d like them. They are super understanding. I mean, they saw the consequences of Sami Jo. They love me and they are happy to keep my secrets. So, I let them.”
