This was private. This was them. Not the world.
Right. His bad.
“Fuck,” he said, rubbing his hand over his face.
“Yeah,” she replied, pushing the button for the elevator.
Neither of them said anything for a beat. The only sound was her breath and his heartbeat thudding in his ears.
“I got so excited about today that I wasn’t thinking straight. You’re right, I was wrong about this. Should’ve told you my plan.” He made a mental note not to do that again. “I’m sorry, Court.”
Looked like he’d be saying that a helluva lot.
She tilted her head to the side and studied him. “Don’t do that.”
“Don’t do what?” Wasn’t he supposed to apologize when he fucked up?
Fuck up. Then apologize. Then don’t do it again.
“Don’t say things to appease me because you’re worried about my blood pressure.” Courtney went back to waiting for the elevator.
So, in this case, he shouldn’t apologize?
Fuck it, this whole pregnancy and doing the good-guy thing confused the hell out of him.
“I’m recognizing that you are right about something because you’re right,” he said cautiously. “I should’ve consulted you.”
Her chest started heaving like she was holding back tears. Which, damn it to hell, was not what he wanted.
“Don’t cry, Court,” he said, wiping a tear away from the apple of her cheek with his thumb, even though that was not his place. Yet these were tears because he’d messed up. His to make. His to deal with. “I promise I won’t do it again,” he continued as the tears came faster. “All future security decisions go through both of us.”
“I’m not crying,” she said, even as another tear trickled down her cheek.
Okay, he wouldn’t argue that point with her.
“I’ve done a lot of shit for you to be mad about,” he said. While he was admitting the truth, maybe he should just tell her that it was him who accidentally ran over her new bicycle when he was sixteen and barely knew how the reverse feature worked on his dad’s station wagon.
“I want to be mad at you, and you won’t even be a dick so I can be mad at you in peace.” She hiccuped. “I don’t even know why I’m crying right now. It makes no sense. It’s like I have no control over any part of my body.”
The elevator opened, and he and Courtney stepped inside.
“Okay,” he said. “I’m sorry about the body thing. That sucks. But uh… you want me to be a dick so you can still be mad at me?” he asked, because this seemed like one of those times where he didn’t fully grasp what the hell was going on.
“It’d make things easier, yes.” She swiped at her cheeks. Then she turned to him. “Just be you for a while. Bossy and grumpy and telling me things that piss me off. At least until we know the baby’s okay.”
Alarm bells started going off in his brain. “Do you think something’s wrong?”
“It’s not that I think anything’s really wrong. But... I’m scared to hope.”
Well, he had some thoughts on that. “Reason number one, we’re in this together,” he said. “We both fuck shit up on the regular. But two negatives make a positive, which means our kid is destined to be the next Hawking or Einstein or Beethoven.”
“You think a lot of your little swimmers, don’t you?” At least she smiled and the tears stopped.
“I just said I’m an idiot. You’re an idiot. That means our kid’s gonna be a genius.”
“You just called me an idiot.” She pursed her lips.
He glanced at her belly. She wasn’t so swollen pregnant yet that it popped a ton, but he had noticed the slight bump.
