“We’re doing the honest thing, so yeah.” He put his hands on his waist. They had a baby, and they had each other, and they had honesty.
“No. I thought you liked who you’d become. Convinced myself. You’re exceptionally good at convincing people,” she said, the shock of her words hitting him in the solar plexus.
“What do I do, Court?”
“Bax is who you’ve become, but he’s not only who you are. I can see now that you’re still Brennan. And you’re still Bax. It’s time to be both.”
“You’re right. And I was right. You don’t get the rock star because you get the man. The man isn’t the rock star. That’s the illusion. That’s what Em got.” He took the deepest breath he’d ever had. “Maybe the reason we were always at odds was because we didn’t turn the magnets the right way. Make them see that they can’t live without the other. The pull becomes unstoppable.” Hell, it made sense to him anyway.
“You really can’t live without me?” she asked, as though she didn’t really buy it.
“Courtney, I can’t even catch a breath without you,” he said, totally serious, through clenched teeth. “Em got Bax for a little while, yeah, butyouget everything. Brennan, Bax, whoever I am tomorrow and day after.”
Something in her shifted, he saw it. Caught the moment she believed him.
“What comes next?” she asked.
“I’m thinking forever.” Forever sounded pretty damn good.
“It can’t be that simple.”
Nothing about what they’d been through was simple. “We’ve had years of hard. I think we deserve a little simplicity.”
She didn’t seem convinced.
“When the future stares you in the eye, you don’t tell it to wait,” Bax said, meaning every word. “I don’t need any more time to mourn what I had, because you’re not the consolation prize. You’re the grand prize. What I had with Em? That was the consolation prize… I just never realized it.”
“Are you still going to give me shit?” Courtney asked. “After this revelation of yours?”
“Yes.” He nodded. “It’s who I am.”
“Good. Then we can move forward with this. This thing between us.” She stood. Moved toward him.
“That’s what I’m asking for.” He opened his arms so she could fit right in there.
“It’s a big ask,” she said against his chest.
He pressed his cheek against her hair. “The biggest.”
“You sure you’re ready for this?” She pulled back, but stroked his biceps with her fingertips.
“I’ve been waiting my whole life for my future to show up.” That future had been there the whole time. Surprise!
“Bax—”
“There’s a place here—Butcher and Baker—they have kick-ass carrot cake,” he said, nuzzling his nose against hers.
“I don’t know what that has to do with anything.”
“That’ll be our thing.” Why did he feel like he was hyperventilating? “When you’re feeling a sweet tooth, we get extra icing. When you’re not, we go muffin. I think you can even make it into a milkshake. The point is, we’ll do it together.”
That made no fucking sense, but he hoped like hell that she understood what he meant.
“You said you were going to figure things out.” Her lips were right there next to his, sharing the same air. “Take some time to sort through everything.”
Uh-huh. That was the plan. “Yeah. I did.”
“You barely left,” she said, low and from deep in her throat.
