“Rachel?” April asked. “Tell me.”
Rachel set the clipboard down on the edge of the desk they used to set up the web cam. She pushed at it with her finger, aligning it to the corner. “He… You know, I think I should not be allowed to speak.”
“Rachel.”
“He fell in love with you while he was here, okay? He told me.” Rachel went right on speaking even as April’s heart stopped beating. “Before he left. And after he got back to L.A. And just now when he called.”
April sucked in a breath and held it way too long because she had used all the oxygen in that air and didn’t go back for more like she should’ve.
Her forehead tingled.
Jack loves me? How is that even possible?
She should breathe now. She pulled in just enough air to keep herself from passing out.
“I figured you should probably know that before you make any big decisions about not returning his calls,” Rachel continued, apparently oblivious to April’s current hyperventilation. “Please don’t tell him I told you.”
April dropped her head to her knees and begged her heart to stop racing. Begged the room to stop spinning.
“April?” Rachel asked. “Crap. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
April couldn’t hear what else Rachel said with the turmoil in her own head rallying all the chaos troops.
If Jack loved her, did that mean it was safe for her to love him, too?
If she loved him, too, why didn’t she ask him to stay?
If she didn’t ask him to stay, did she totally wreck the whole love thing?
Her experience with romantic love wasn’t exactly a good example of normalcy, so how was she supposed to even figure this out?
The front door opened, and there was some rustling going on around her. She whispered the words,peaceandrelease, over and over, trying to ground herself.
“What’s going on with that one?” Kitty asked from somewhere close by.
Oh, yay, Kitty’s right on time, April thought with all the sarcasm possible. She pinched her eyes shut tighter. That meant it was almost time to log in for mindful meditation tips onPractical Parenting. This was a problem, given she wasn’t feeling very mindful.
Emotional, absolutely. Mindful, nope.
Peace. Release.
In for four counts, hold for four counts—
“We should call Jack,” Simone said from somewhere in the same direction as Kitty.
“Don’t call Jack,” April said, surprisingly clear for being mid whatever this thing was. She needed to figure out what the heck was going on inside her regarding the Jack feelings before anyone called him for anything.
Kitty settled next to her on the sofa. April didn’t have to open her eyes to know it was Kitty there. Her arm wrapped around April’s shoulders, her overly invasive citrus-based perfume saturating the air April desperately needed to get herself grounded.
“I think you’re having a breakdown,” Kitty whispered, pulling April closer to her, soothing, practically purring.
“Probably,” April muttered, trying to shake it off.
“You’re way overdue,” Kitty said, still doing the comforting purr thing. “If you ask me, I think you’ve needed this for a while.”
April opened her eyes to look at Kitty in disbelief.
“What started this whole thing?” Simone asked, gesturing to April, her rarely seen forehead lines showing.
