“No. That’s not allowed.” Molly held up her hands.
Things that were allowed? Fake dates, pretend relationships, real sex, and actual orgasms.
Things that were absolutely not allowed? Long-term emotional attachment to Gavin of any kind that didn’t involve the desire to throttle him with her bare hands.
“Have you considered…” Sadie started. Then she stopped. Then she cleared her throat. Then she said, “That maybe the reason you’ve always been so averse to him is because you always sort of knew the feelings thing was possible?”
“No.” Molly had definitely not considered that. And she didn’t have any intention of considering it, either.
“Maybe you should think about it?” Sadie asked. Her friends were all taking special care to be gentle, but Molly wasn’t ready.
That was it, wasn’t it?
Molly wasn’t ready.
Ladies and gentlemen, she just had a realization.
She wasn’t ready. And that was fine.
Totally okay that she wasn’t ready to commit to a long-term package deal. Nope. Not ready. Free trial was excellent, thoroughly enjoyed on multiple levels. But she was still not ready.
“Why’d you encourage her to think?” Rachel said, her voice pitchy. “Don’t encourage her tothink. She just needs to feel for a little while longer.”
“I’m not ready.” Molly gulped. “I’m not ready to consider it.”
“This is about the whole not-able-to-get-past-a-first-date thing?” Kaiya asked. “Or you just don’t want to buy the goat when you got the cheese for free?”
“You’ve got that all mixed up, my friend,” Sadie said. “It’s why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free.”
“No.” Kaiya gave a little headshake. “I’m not mixing anything up. I just feel like the whole cow and milk thing is cliche. Also, don’t really love being compared to a cow, you know?”
“But goats are fine?” Molly asked, actually pretty grateful they were talking about barnyard animals and not her love life.
“Goats are great,” Kaiya said. “They’re super cute. Very compact. And they can climb trees. Have you ever seen a cow climb a tree? No, you have not.”
“I’ve never seen a goat climb a tree either,” Sadie said. “Are you sure they do that?”
“Can we please refocus on Molly? We’ll get back to the goat and cow debate after we find out exactly what happened that’s making her think.” Rachel tossed her hands up. “Also, I’m team cow. I like cows. Even if they can’t climb trees.”
“It’s not that I’m unwilling to get past a first date,” Molly said, actually relieved not to be talking about cows and goats. “The men I’ve seen are just all perfect for someone else. It’s how it is.”
“Not one of them could’ve worked for you for even a small amount of time?” Sadie asked.
Dammit, she was going into attorney mode. Molly usually enjoyed watching Sadie slide into attorney mode. Unless Sadie used it against her. Then she didn’t like it at all.
“Molly,” Kaiya said, flicking a speck of dirt from her leggings. “Dan is amazing. He was into you. You could’ve had fun for a little while with him.”
She could’ve, but that would’ve been wrong because… “He’s perfect for you, not me.”
“I am so grateful you recognized that he and I would be a nice fit.” Kaiya nibbled at her bottom lip. “But I think you don’t give yourself enough credit.”
“I give myself plenty of credit.” Loads of the stuff. She practically prescribed her own credit cards.
“Yeah, honey, no.” Sadie shook her head. “You don’t.”
“You’re awesome and you say you know it, but I don’t think you do,” Kaiya said, unable to look at Molly. Like Molly had morning Molly hair or something.
“I think that for the first time in a long time I did something out of the normal and it was great.” Amazingly great, really. “But I also realize that it’s not helping anyone to prolong something that will eventually end.”
