“We came to either give you shit advice or watch you brood. We have multiple options available for all men diving into relationships.”
“First, I think we have a family issue to deal with.” Roman ran his palm over his forehead.
“We always have family issues to deal with.” Jase pushed up and stood.
Roman fiddled with the mouse in his hand. “I asked Babushka to help me woo Sadie.”
“Woo?” Brek asked. “Seriously? Do people actually use that word?” He paused for apparent dramatic effect. “In this century?”
“Convince Sadie to fall for me—like Babushka did for Jase and Heather.”
“I know what it means. I just didn’t know people still used it or that you’re such a romantic that you use words like ‘woo.’ You should catch up with my wife. She loves old TV shows that use words like that—woo, twitterpated, fiddle faddle.”
Jase stopped pacing. “What the hell has Velma done to you?”
“She says I’m becoming cultured.”
“You buy into that?”
“Fuck no.”
“Can we refocus the attention in the room back where it belongs?” Roman pointed to his chest. “On me.”
Jase continued speaking as he carefully picked up one of the props Roman used for wedding shoots—a vase to hold the bride’s bouquet. “Fine. Tell me you didn’t ask our slightly insane grandmother to help youwooSadie, because that would be totally insane.”
“He can’t help it. He’s twitterpated.” Brek grinned a wry smile. “I like big words.”
“You heard me, assholes,” Roman grumbled. “I think the whole thing has gone off the rails though. It looks like, in order to get closer to Sadie, Babushka is trying to figure out how to divorce our dead grandfather. When I asked questions, Sadie excused me from the conversation.”
Brek raised his eyebrows. “Huh.”
“Huh?” Roman asked.
“Looks like you really fucked up,” Brek continued.
“Did you really expect anything else?” Jase asked, picking up Louise. “She’s Babushka.”
“It’s the fuckin’ truth,” Brek added.
Yes, yes, he had expected Babushka to be a whole lot more planned with her endeavors.
“Don’t touch my camera.” They were free to give shit advice, but no one—and he meant no one—touched Louise.
“I have a feeling this whole thing is about to get totally fucked.” Brek eyed Jase as he set Louise back on the counter.
Roman clicked the mouse harder than necessary as he dragged and dropped. “I don’t think I’m at the fucked stage yet. I’m still just getting screwed.”
“Nope. Definitely fucked,” Brek said. “Fucked. Fucked. Fucked.”
“Ignore him. He’s not allowed to cuss at home, so he tries to get his quota when he’s with me,” Jase said.
“Seriously, though. Why would you sic your grandmother on Sadie?” Brek shifted like he’d been the victim of the siccing. “That shit’s just wrong.”
Jase started pacing again. “Because Roman is…” Jase paused, grabbed his phone, and squinted at the screen as his fingers flew over it. “Because Roman is fraught and distressed and distracted.” He grinned as though he’d hit jackpot. “It’s the only explanation.”
“Maybe I am a littlefraughtanddistressed.” Roman drew out the last word. “I’m not distracted.”
Shit, he’d gotten distracted and dropped the image into the wrong folder. He scowled as he fixed his fuck-up.
