“Hi, Sadie.” Tonya turned from her examination of the cookies.
Sadie hadn’t been sure what to expect of a client who met her soon-to-be ex-husband through a fish-enthusiast chat forum. She did know she hadn’t expected her to be quite soTonya. Tonya was one of those stunning women who could be picked out of a crowd by talent scouts and sent on an extravagant modeling gig in the Big Apple. The kind of woman with high cheekbones, perfect bone structure, and a face that was as symmetric as they came.
“They’re dressed like police officers, how interesting is that?” Tonya asked.
“So interesting.” Sadie held her hand out to her client.
Tonya shook it. “Who would’ve thought to use handcuffs that way?”
The handcuffswereplaced at a unique angle along the waist area of the cookies, making it appear as though they actually had their own—
“I know, right?” Sadie replied.
She knew Heather had an underground following for inappropriately shaped cockies (as Heather called them). She just usually didn’t store them on top of the case like that.
“So sorry.” A blushing cashier pulled the tray away. “I grabbed the wrong tray. Wasn’t paying attention. So, so sorry.”
“Can I buy a few of those?” Tonya leaned over the case.
“Absolutely,” the girl chirped.
“I’ll just meet you in the…” Sadie pointed toward the hot-pink birthday room.
“Be right there.” Tonya was already making her choices from the police officer selection.
One solid intake of the pink walls and Sadie gave in. She texted Roman to arrange some office-seeking time.
When a couple meton welovebigfish.com and they combined their tanks of exotic aquatic life, what could they expect when the inevitable divorce kicked in?
A custody dispute, that’s what.
However, eating a dick-shaped cookie while discussing custody arrangements was a new one for Sadie.
Sadie read through the…names…on Tonya’s list.
Each and every one of the forty-seven fish had their own name and description, including line items listing the ones who liked each other, mated with each other, or had personal issues with one another. The list started with Roger, the most expensive of the batch. He came with a hefty tens-of-thousands-of-dollars price tag.
He favored Tonya and, according to her, got really upset when she and Rex argued, which happened often before the separation.
Roger’s distress was the catalyst for the separation.
“No arguments near the fish habitat,” Sadie mumbled, jotting down the first point of Tonya’s requests. “How far is near? We’ll need to be specific.”
“Just not close.” Tonya nibbled at the edge of the handcuffs on her cookie.
Tonya had grabbed one for Sadie, too. She hadn’t touched it. Not yet. It looked great, really, it did. But biting into it seemed like a violation of legal ethics or something.
“What if we say ten feet?” Sadie asked. “Reasonable?”
Tonya nodded.
Sadie jotted down a note to find out if there was such a thing as anxiety medication for aquatic animals—just as a potential alternative if Rex balked at the ten-feet rule.
“Have you thought about time splits?” Sadie flipped over to the next page of her yellow legal pad.
They couldn’t move the fish frequently without shocking their systems, so Tonya proposed that both parents (Sadie used that term loosely) would share custody by moving in and out of the home.
“They’re accustomed to me most of the time.”
