“You should’ve brought them if you need them,” Babushka replied.
“I’ve got a box of dicks I’d like to unload.” Eli strode beside Babushka. “You think we can move this party along?”
“Everybody shush,” Heather insisted.
Not that it mattered,Scotty’sparty was in full swing. As long as he andhisfriends didn’t go on the back patio, Operation Dicks in Trees could still happen.
“It vill be fine.” Babushka patted Marlee’s shoulder before she marched up the street to Marlee’s old house without waiting for a reply.
“What will be fine?” Eli asked.
“Nothing.” Marlee clicked the lock button on the key fob and stuffed it in her bra. She scurried to keep up with Heather. They’d left Lothario at home this time, not wanting to risk his barking or attack-straddling any of Scotty’s sweaters. She unlatched the gate, checking that Scotty’s party was of the inside variety.
It was.
The back patio was totally silent. Babushka and Etta made quick work of covering the cameras. Then they motioned for everyone else to come through the gate.
Babushka grabbed a set of nunchucks from Eli’s box, swung it over her head, and let it rip. It landed perfectly over one of the top branches of Marlee’s favorite aspen tree.
“It’s almost like they’ve done this before,” Heather whispered.
Marlee wasn’t sure that made her feel better. But it was like her shenanigans with Sadie, Becca, and Kellie, so it felt like coming home. And not because she’d actually lived here for years.
The rest of the elderly women grabbed their own dicks and followed Babushka’s lead unloading the decorations. Dottie went to work shoving them in the soft earth where Marlee used to plant flowers in the spring. Instead of mums, snapdragons, and petunias, there were now bright orange penises lining the edge of the walkway.
Funny thing was that the way the orange gleamed in the moonlight? Well, it sort of looked festive—if one squinted and tilted their head to the side.
“I’ve done some weird shit in my life.” Eli came up beside Marlee, the warmth of his body close to hers. “This tops the list.”
“I’m pretty sure this is what Sadie, Becca, Kellie, and I will be like when we’re old.” She leaned against his arm. “I hope so.”
“God help us all.” He nudged her shoulder with his own.
“I’m not one hundred percent certain, but I think Babushka has ties to the Russian mafia,” Marlee whispered.
“I’m nearly one hundred percent certain that you are correct.” The edges of his lips twitched.
Marlee. Eli. Moonlight. The whole thing was nearly romantic. Except for the covert mission of the elderly hanging Halloween penises.
Laughter echoed from inside the house, spilling onto the patio. Scotty had their old life, but she had Eli.
For now, at least.
The numbness she’d felt earlier turned to warm embers.
“Scotty’s having a party.” Marlee glanced at the gray flagstone on the side of her patio.
“I saw that.” Eli swung his arm around her, drawing her against his side.
“My old friends are here.” And it shouldn’t have bugged her. It really shouldn’t have. They were her old friends, not her current friends. Her current friends were fighting for her honor using orange dildos.
Eli pressed a totally platonic kiss on the crown of her head. “Fuck ’em.”
She nodded. What he’d said was right. Still, her stomach cramped whenever the laughter started up.
Eli’s hand found hers, and he pulled her into the fray with the old women. He handed her an orange penis. “It’s almost Halloween. You haven’t even hung one decoration. Pretty sure that’s not going to work for me.”
Marlee took the dick from his hand, swung it over her head, and let go. The orange silicone sailed through the air until it caught on one of the branches of the second aspen tree.
