“Marlee has to get him to wear a tuxedo condom when she gets her Blue Man,” Sadie added. “It’s a rule.”
“You know how black is slimming and white kinda makes us all look fat?” Becca asked.
“I so do,” Marlee replied. It was one of the hardest parts of New York’s Fashion Week.
“What do you suppose the blue paint does to their dicks?” Becca dropped to the couch on the other side of Sadie. “Lengthen or…?”
“Absolutely no more booze for you.” Eli grabbed a bottle of water from the plastic grocery sack he’d snagged at the convenience store. He popped off the lid like it was a beer bottle and handed it to her. “Drink that.”
“Aye, Cap’n Eli.” Becca saluted him and then spilled a solid quarter of the water down the front of her silk blouse.
“I just had the best idea.” Sadie stopped stroking Lothario’s head and pointed between Eli and Marlee. “You two should get married.”
Say what?Marlee’s blood pressure rose, and she did her best to ignore what her best friend had just said and focused instead on the idea that blue paint might possibly make a penis look smaller.
“Why would this be the best idea?” Eli asked as calm as though he were ordering a Corona at the swim-up Bellagio bar.
He grabbed another bottle of water and handed it to Sadie.
She took it. “Not really married, just the motions. To prove to both of you that it’s not scary.”
“I never said I was scared of marriage,” Marlee said quickly. “I’m all for it. Was ready to do it this weekend. Not feeling like I need to prove that again.”
With her luck, she’d get to the altar and then get left again. No, thank you.
“Great, then it’s just Eli with marriage issues,” Sadie said, all sugar and honey.
Eli glared at her, his forehead all scrunched up. “I don’t have marriage issues.”
“We all know you do. But hear me out, it’s like therapy.” Sadie started talking with her hands like she was in the courtroom and Eli was on the interrogation stand.
“I can assure you, this is not like therapy,” Eli practically growled.
“Objection, Your Honor,” Becca said with a giggle. “Eli didn’t wait for the question.”
“I’ll allow it,” Marlee said, electing herself to the judge position in this new game ofTaunt the Eli.
“For fuck’s sake.” He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.
Marlee wasn’t going to marry him. He didn’t have anything to worry about.
“Isn’t there a kind of therapy where you force people to do the things that make them uncomfortable?” Sadie asked Becca.
“There is immersion therapy, but I’m pretty sure this wouldn’t fall into that category. But”—Becca paused dramatically—"it would be fun to watch.”
“That’s the truth,” Kellie added.
“Do I get a say at all in this?” Marlee asked. “As the self-appointed judge, I feel like I should get a say.”
“You’re not really getting married. Just the motions,” Sadie said.
Oh, like she’d done for the past year? She knew all about that.
“You know what? I’ll get the tattoo.” Eli released a deep sigh.
“What?” Becca tilted her ear toward Eli. “I didn’t hear that. What did you say?”
Eli ran a hand over his face. “I do this and then we drop the Blue Man game. We sure as fuck drop the Eli-gets-married game. We just go back to the hotel and think about the things we’ve done. The things we’ve seen. Because even though I did my best not to, I saw the start of what you did to that poor pole back there, Sadie. And I’ll never be the same.”
