“I put it out.”
“Still, when Mom found out?” Zach grimaced. “She was ma-ah-ad.”
“What’s her beef this time?” As if he didn’t already know that Heather and her fireman penis cookies were the culprit.
Zach stared him down. “Puh-lease. You’re dense, but you’re not stupid.”
“You’ve got a girlfriend taking Babushka to naughty places and making naughtier cookies. Do you need me to spell it out?” Anna continued her assault on the sprinkles. “It’s kind of fun that it’s you and not me this time.”
His sister had been through a bit of a phase in her early twenties. The good part about that was Jase had been the favorite child for a while.
“She is on a tear.” Roman tossed back a slug of coffee. “I haven’t seen her this worked up since she got kicked off the Parade of Lights committee for telling the mayor to shove his foot up his own ass.”
“Ahh…memories.” Jase pulled a stool up to the table and straddled it. “She’s pissed at Heather. She’s pissed at Babushka. I’m sure there’s some left in there for me. And I do not care.”
Because he had an amazing night wrapped up in Heather.
“What would it take to break up with your girlfriend?” Zach asked, totally serious.
No. Not going to happen. “More than Mom being pissed off, that’s for sure.”
“Can’t we just tell her that you two broke up?” Anna asked. “I mean, I’m pretty sure Heather isn’t going to want to come by the house anytime soon.”
“And by the time Mom figures out you two are still together, you’ll already be broken up.” Zach sat taller. “Actually, this isn’t a bad idea.”
Right. It was an epically idiotic idea.
“No.” Jase poured himself a cup of coffee.
“What if I tell her?” Roman asked. “If I tell her, then I get my two weeks of peace while I’m here and you all can deal with the fallout after.”
“Or we can just make sure she never finds out,” Anna suggested.
“And in a few years when Heather has her grandkid, you don’t think she’ll realize we’re hooking up?” Whoa. Why was his mind and his mouth going to kids? He was having fun with her. They were together. That was enough. Besides, Jase had played the fake breakup game already; convincing Heather to do it again would probably cost him a Mercedes Coupe S 550 and any hope of more Heather bathtub time.
Anna seemed to choke on her coffee. “You’re having kids with Heather?”
Well, not yet, but maybe someday.
Seriously, why was his mind going there?
“He’s not having kids with Heather, he can barely keep a pet mouse alive.” Roman toyed with his coffee mug.
“I’m not lying about my relationship with Heather.” Jase may be willing to change his personal limits regarding frosting on certain appendages, but he wasn’t going to lie about what was going on with Heather.
“That’s the beauty of my suggestion,” Roman said. “You don’t say anything. And as long as you don’t say anything, everyone is happy.”
Seeing as he wasn’t particularly speaking to his mother at the moment, talking to her about his relationship status wasn’t a big deal.
“If Roman tells her, then I don’t have to hear any more about penis cookies and strip-club steaks?” Zach asked. He held his fist out to Roman. “Dude, I will owe you.”
“Perfect. Problem solved.” Anna hopped off her stool. “I’m so glad we solved this.”
“You guys are idiots,” Jase muttered, clearing the box of doughnuts and coffee so he could get some actual work done.
“Yeah, well, we’re idiots who won’t have to listen to Mom rant, aren’t we?” Roman slid from his stool and headed toward the door. “And the next time you tie me to a fucking appliance, I’m going to kick your ass.”
“Big talk for a guy who ended up hugging a refrigerator.” Jase wiped off the table.
