When I came, making a mess of myself and the sheets, it was withCoopon my lips.
I lay there for longer than I would normally have let myself, remembering the feeling of Cooper’s fingers running through my hair. HowsafeI’d been. How wanted I’d felt.
Then I remembered. Eight o’clock. Pancakes.
When I fished my phone out of the pocket of my discarded jeans, it said 7:42am on the lock screen. I tossed it on the bed and bolted for the shower, wiping myself down as quickly as I could before grabbing clean clothes and throwing them on in a hurry. I didn’t want to be late for breakfast.
I paused as I stepped into the kitchen-slash-living area of the apartment. On the counter were the peonies from last night. A little worse for the wear, but propped up in one of the heavy glass tumblers that’d come with the place, the edges of the petals glowing in the morning light.
Cooper. Cooper must have brought them up before he left. I’d been too distracted to grab them myself on the way up last night.
He was actuallytooperfect. What had I done to deserve him?
Outside, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and a light breeze blowing in off the bay brought the clean scent of salt with it. There weren’t many people out yet at this hour, but Iggy and Seth waved at me from in front of Grinding as I walked past on the other side of the street. Almost as though I was a real local.
There was movement beyond the lace curtains of the Richards’ house as I approached the front door. The bell rang out loud and clear, splitting the silence of the morning.
“I’ll get it!” Benji enthused from inside. I smiled at the sound of tiny feet pounding toward the door, and broke into a grin when Benji really did answer it.
The look on his face was magical, eyes wide and mouth falling open.
Clearly, either Cooper hadn’t told him I was coming—maybe because he hadn’t been sure I really would—or he hadn’t believed it.
“It’s Felix!” Benji called over his shoulder like he was announcing I was Santa. He was still in pajamas, purple and covered in unicorns with rainbow manes.
I would’vekilledfor them when I was his age.
Cooper’s mom appeared behind Benji as he stepped out of the way to let me inside. The twinkle in her eye was knowing enough to make me blush, and I ducked my head as I stepped inside.
“Did you practice your transitions last night?” I asked Benji, letting him lead me.
I heard him promise that he had, but my attention was focused on the scene in the kitchen. Cooper stood in front of the stove in a threadbare grey t-shirt, flipping a pancake like a pro by tossing the pan. His arms flexed easily with the motion, and I was thrown right back to how safe I’d felt in them the night before.
He was still sleep-tousled, soft the way he had been when he left. A dream come true.
He turned as soon as the pancake was flipped and broke into a smile so bright it made the sun outside look dull by comparison. Directed atme.
Something fluttered under my ribcage.
I love you.
The thought stopped me dead. It’d come so easily, so automatically.
What the hell was I meant todowith it?
Something touching my hand snapped me out of the panic spiral I might’ve fallen into left to my own devices. I looked down and saw Benji clasping three of my fingers, tugging me toward the table.
“You have to be sitting down to get pancakes,” he told me with the gravity of a sage pronouncing the meaning of life from a mountaintop.
“He’s right,” Cooper called over. “Those are the rules.”
“I’d hate to break the rules,” I said, letting Benji lead me over to a seat.
The table was set for five, an extra chair that didn’t match the others brought in from somewhere else. I hadn’t noticed that the night I’d come for dinner, too busy worrying about other things.
Whether or not Cooper had believed I’d come, he’d made space for me.
I sat in a daze, thoughts swirling as Benji told me that Saturday was pancake day, and Cooper made the best pancakes in the whole wide world, and that he really had practiced for a whole hour last night because he knew how important it was.
