“Okay, okay,” I said. “Want me to kiss it better?”
Benji nodded enthusiastically, waving his hand in my face until I caught it again and pressed a kiss to it. There was obviously nothing wrong with him. I thought maybe he just liked the band-aids. Would he like nail polish? His mom always had. Her collection had taken up half the bathroom cabinet when we were teenagers. Maybe he’d gotten his love of bright colors from her.
“Better?” I asked.
“Better,” Benji agreed, with the kind of serious nod only a kid his age could pull off.
He was perfect. No one could ever tell me otherwise.
“You’re smiling again,” Benji said, rolling his whole head along with his eyes, making it clear I was embarrassing him. Again. As usual.
“Because I love you,” I said. “And I love having you around. Whenever you walk into a room I feel like there’s a balloonblowing up in my chest and it’s all filled up with how much I love you and how happy you make me feel.”
Benji wrinkled his nose.
“Yeah, I know, sounds uncomfortable. You’ll understand one day, I hope. And then I’ll make faces at you about it,” I said, crossing my eyes and poking my tongue out. Benji burst into giggles, and put both hands on my raised knee to steady himself.
I wasn’t sure I was the best uncle—guardian?—a kid could ask for, but sometimes I felt like I was getting a thing or two right. I hoped it was enough.
I took one of his hands, more carefully than I probably needed to. I still remembered holding him in my arms, just a day old, and being so afraid I’d break him. “I love you, buddy. Don’t ever doubt that. Okay?”
“Okay,” Benji agreed. “Love you too, Coop.”
“That’s my boy,” I said, drawing him in for another hug, breathing in baby shampoo and the faint hint of chocolate that told me he’d convinced Mom to give him a cookie already this morning. Just as well, probably. He wasn’t built like me, and he could use the calories. He never sat still for a minute.
“Okay, school time for you. Grandma’s gonna pick you up from school today, and I’ll get you after dance class, and then I think we should go for a burger. How’s that sound?”
Benji lit up like I’d promised him a unicorn. “Works for me,” he said, in exactly the tone Dad always did when he was agreeing with Mom.
I laughed as I stood, picking Benji up under the arms and twirling him around once before setting him down carefully next to Mom. “Be good, okay?”
“He’s an angel,” Mom said, standing on tiptoes to press a kiss to my cheek. “Keep an eye on your father for me.”
“Always,” I promised. “Better get to work before he fires me, though.”
Mom squeezed my arm and backed off, taking Benji’s hand. “You boys behave.”
I saluted her as she turned away, taking Benji with her. My heart clenched as I watched him go.
I hadn’t known you could love a person as much as I loved him. I didn’t know it could hurt when they left a room. I hadn’treallyunderstood until…
“He worships you,” Dad said, moving to stand at my elbow as I watched Mom and Benji shrink in the distance. When they turned the corner, I turned back to the shop, sipping my coffee.
“As long as he knows I love him,” I said, mentally organizing tasks for the morning. Me moving back home couldn’t have come at a better time for Dad—the last mechanic who’d worked for him had just moved away when…
Well. When I suddenly didn’t have a home anymore, and Ididhave a little boy who needed one. It was better for us all to stick together, anyway.
“There are people on the ISS who know you love that kid,” Dad said, tossing his empty coffee cup across the room and into the trash can without even touching the rim.
I hoped that was true. Not… literally, but I hoped it was as obvious as Dad thought. Benji had lost enough. I wanted him to feel secure in what he had left.
I didn’t know what I’d do without my parents at thirty-one. I couldn’t imagine what I would’ve done at six. As far as I was concerned, Benji was the toughest person in the world. I wanted him to know he had support.
“Come on,” Dad said, patting me on the shoulder. “Time to get to work. You can tell me more about these blue eyes while you’re at it.”
Reallyshouldn’t have mentioned the eyes.
3
