I blushed at the thought that Xander had actuallyseen, but let him usher me forward into the light and warmth of what turned out to be a picture-perfect beer garden beyond the barn door.
9
XANDER
I’d made a huge mistake.
There’d been signs, obviously. Yesterday at the coffee shop. The fact that it’d taken me forty-five minutes to get dressed. How my heart had pounded for a full five minutes after I’d accidentally caught Milo coming out of the shower.
Somehow, none of it had quite prepared me for watching Milo eat with his hands. With his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Licking his fingers.
The thing was that Milo was sitting there, all buttoned up in his business shirt and cashmere sweater and tailored pants—which, by the way, did his buttallthe favors—and he was also making an endless stream of happy noises and shoving his thumb in his mouth every now and again, and there was only so much I could take.
I hated that Dante was right and I was really, really glad he couldn’t see me now, barely holding it together. If I’d been on the verge of drooling yesterday, it was nothing compared to this.
I could’ve passed out with relief when he reached for a napkin and pulled out his phone instead.
“Checking your hookup app?” I teased.
And then immediately regretted it, because what if he was? I wasn’t sure I could take it.
Milo wrinkled his nose. “Anonymous sex with a total stranger?” he said. “I couldn’t. Uh,” he added, glancing up at me. “Not, umm. Not that there’s anythingwrongwith that, if it’s the kind of thing you, umm. I’ll shut up.”
I laughed and sipped my beer.
This was the other problem.
Now that Milo’s nervousness had broken? He was just as much fun as always. More, even, because now I could see the shy little smiles, the way he bit his lip, the way his cheekbones lit up neon pink when he was even the slightest bit embarrassed.
And it wascute.
I was man enough to admit I’d had a crush on him before, and wise enough to admit this wasn’t making it go away. Everything he did just made it worse.
“Not my scene either,” I said. “I’ve only ever—”
“Xander!” a familiar voice sing-songed from behind me. Part of me hoped she didn’t see me wince, but then part of me thought she would’ve enjoyed it if she had.
“Muriel,” I said, forcing myself to smile as I turned to look at her. “How—”
“It’s so good to see you out with a nice young man,” Muriel said before I could get a word in edgeways. “And so handsome,” she added, looking Milo up and down like he was a horse she was thinking about buying. “The gay ones always are.”
Milo almost choked on his beer.
“Thank you,” I said, pretending it’d been intended as a compliment for me. “Milo is a friend from out of town. We’re just catching up.”
“Well, it’s lovely to meet you, Milo,” Muriel said, swinging auburn curls that would’ve made Dolly Parton nervous over her shoulder. “I won’t interrupt you boys any longer. I just wanted to say I’m so proud of you for getting back on the horse, sweetheart. After all that… unpleasantness with Brady.”
I swallowed, and nodded, but couldn’t quite make myself say anything.
“So nice to meet you,” Milo said, offering his hand and a big, genuine-looking smile. “Have a lovely night.”
“You too, Milo. Make sure Xander shows you all the best of Otter Bay hospitality, y’hear?”
Milo nodded again, waving goodbye to her and keeping up the smile until she was gone.
“Thanks,” I said, sipping my beer again and grabbing a handful of fries. I needed the carbs to get over that.
“Anytime,” Milo said.
