Yeah. Yeah, I was his.
What a disaster.
20
Ward
I honestly hadn’t wantedto get out of bed this afternoon, not with Ryder tangled up in my sheets, laughing and glowing in the sunlight, smiling at me like I was the best thing in the world.
But now that I was watching him chase Maisie around Liz and Sandy’s yard as the sun set, I was glad he’d insisted on going to dinner at their place when Liz had called.
He was still glowing, the last few rays of sunlight catching his hair and making it blaze orange, still laughing as Maisie caught him by the leg, finally slaying the dinosaur he was pretending to be, giggling as he fell dramatically to his doom. Happy.
He looked so goddamn happy my heart was about to burst.
“I don’t know how you drink this stuff,” Liz said, passing me a ginger ale. She hated it, but she always kept some in the fridge for me.
Maisie was developing a taste for it, too, so at least I wasn’t completely alone.
“Just pour it into my mouth and swallow,” I said, glancing over at a napping Charlie to check on him for the thousandth time.
I took my official adopted uncle duties very seriously when Liz asked me to watch the kids, although I could admit that I’d been watching Ryder more than I had them.
“I’m going to refrain from making a joke about other things you might be putting in your mouth and swallowing,” Liz said, sitting down beside me. “But you look better than you have. Although I am sensing a cloud hanging over your pretty head right now.”
“Ryder’s leaving,” I blurted out.
I probably wasn’t meant to tell anyone that, but who was Liz gonna tell?
We hadn’t talked about it yet. I got the sense Ryder didn’t want to, and Ireallydidn’t want to.
He’d just come back, and now he was going again.
Which was the idea of the whole fake boyfriends thing in the first place. I knew that, except I hadn’t really thought about it. I’d been so busy wanting to help that I hadn’t considered what I was helpingwith.
“Leaving-leaving?” Liz raised an eyebrow.
“Dunno.”
Eventually, I’d have to find out. We had to talk about it.
Right now though, I would’ve preferred to live in denial a little longer. At least when I was with Ryder.
I wanted to pretend I could keep him.
“Why?”
“Audition,” I said. “Not sure I’m meant to be telling you this, I think he had to sign an NDA.”
I didn’tthink, I knew, but saying I knew it felt like violating the terms. Maybe. I wasn’t clear on how any of it worked.
“But he’s coming back, right?” Liz prodded.
Ryder had switched roles now, screaming in terror and running away dramatically from Maisie, who was obviously the dinosaur this time, roaring and stalking and occasionally squealing with laughter.
He’d been happy, earlier today, when he was with Seth’s drama group.
He was happy now.
