Seth:good
Seth:working on fixing this
I wasn’t sure exactly how Seth was planning tofixit, but I trusted that whatever he was up to, it was in Ryder’s best interests. If something like this had happened to me, I’d want Seth on my side.
Liz came back with coffee while I was inspecting the broken step. I was realizing now that there was no way I could risk trying to repair it, not the way it’d broken, which meant I’d have to replace it. Which meant a trip to the hardware store.
“So, about Ryder,” Liz said as she passed me a cup of coffee.
“Really?” I asked. “I’m doing you a favor.”
“And I’m doing you a favor!” she said, sipping her coffee. “By, y’know, getting you to talk about your feelings. It’s not good to keep stuff bottled up.”
“What am I meant to be bottling up?” I asked, tugging on the broken step only to have a chunk of it crumble in my hands.
“I dunno, how about the unrelenting crush on Ryder all through high school that you wanted to hide from him so badly you pretended you were interested in me?”
I sipped my coffee and pretended to be really interested in the step I was still half-heartedly trying to pry loose.
“I did like you,” I said.
“Did?”
“Dolike you,” I corrected. “You know what I mean.”
“I know.” Liz sat down on the porch, legs threaded between the railings, feet dangling. “But I was second choice.”
“It sounds awful when you say it like that,” I said, finally yanking one half of the step free. It crumbled as well, and my heart sank. This definitely wasn’t a one-hour job.
“Hey, I love you,” Liz said. “I’m trying to get a read on how you’re feeling about the universe dumping Ryder on you after he broke your heart so bad you’ve never recovered.”
“That’s a little dramatic,” I said, getting up to pull the other half of the step free. “He didn’t do it on purpose. And I don’t feel like he’s been dumped on me. And I’m not…”
“Not…?” Liz prodded.
“Heartbroken.”
I expected Liz to snort, or sayyeah, right, but she didn’t. She just patted my shoulder.
Somehow, that was worse.
“Well, if you need anything, you know I’m always around. You should bring Ryder over for dinner or something sometime. It’d be nice to see him again.”
“I’ll mention it, but I think…” I sighed, scratching the back of my neck as I looked over the job in front of me. “I think you need a whole new set of stairs, first of all. Which is fine, I just got some good reclaimed oak I can stain to match the rest, but it’ll take me a day or two. I’ll put a temporary step in today so no one gets hurt.”
“That was almost an artful change of subject,” Liz said. “C’mon, you can talk to me. You’ve gotta talk tosomeoneand you know you can trust me to keep your secrets.”
Yeah. Yeah, I knew I could trust Liz with anything, and it wasn’t as though half the things on my mind were exactlysecrets. They were just private, and it wasn’t my privacy at stake, and Ryder had just had his violated like most people would never experience.
“I just want him to be okay,” I said. Ever since Seth had called me last night, all I could think about was how much I wanted—needed—Ryder to be okay. It hurt to think about him hurting.
Liz made a sympathetic noise, nudging me with the toe of her boot.
“He will be,” she said. “He’s got you.”
“Not sure that’s enough.”
“It is. You’re the number one person I’d want in my corner. Y’know, after Sandy obviously.”
