“Or a lesbian,” Juliet said, tucking her phone away after she’d shown the screen to Mercutio.
“Or that,” Seth gestured at her. “This is my theatre group, what else did you think it’d be?”
I took a second to look at the faces of every kid there, really pausing to take them in this time.
Kids just like me, just like Seth, who had something the two of us could only have imagined when we were their age. For a second I imagined seventeen-year-old Ryder sitting across from me, surrounded by people who were just like him, whogotit, who he wouldn’t have had to hide his real self from, ever.
Something inside me broke. Or repaired itself. Or something. Contrary to my chosen career I was pretty terrible at identifying my own feelings, but somethingchanged, anyway, and I felt it.
“I wanted you to see this while you were in town,” Seth added, putting a hand on my arm as though he could sense that I was right on the verge of tearing up over this. “But I wasn’t sure how to bring it up without making things worse. And then I actually needed your help, and I know you always think Ward’s the helpful one, but you’ve never let me down yet.”
I looked down at my coffee, biting my lip while Seth squeezed my arm.
“Don’t you start crying, or I’ll start crying, and you know what a mess that is.”
“Do I ever.” I laughed. “Snot everywhere,” I added to Juliet and Mercutio, earning myself a laugh.
I’d never thought about it before, but there was something about having the approval of teenagers that felt really good. If you could be cool to a teenager, that was the maximum amount of cool it was possible to be.
“I’m not even gonna pinch you for that one, I’m the ugliest of criers,” Seth said.
“I don’t think emotions are ever ugly,” Mercutio said, with more wisdom at seventeen than I thought I’d ever manage to attain if I lived to be a hundred and seventeen. “Human expression is beautiful. Beautiful things come out of despair and rage as much as they do joy and excitement.”
Then he shrugged like he hadn’t just said something so profound I was in awe.
“Smart kids you’ve got here,” I said as breakfast arrived, my stomach choosing that moment to remind me that I’d skipped dinner last night between helping Seth out and… everything with Ward.
The last twenty-four hours had been a whirlwind.
A life-altering, perspective-changing whirlwind that I was still processing.
I wasn’t over how good being on stage again had felt.
“Well duh,” Seth said, beaming across the table at them. “Where do you think they got it from?”
I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t help smiling right along with him.
The conversation turned to other things as we ate. People I’d met and what they were like in real life, whether or not pumpkin spice flavored everything was overplayed—Seth had come down firmly on the pro-spice side. Family stuff, how surprisingly drinkable the coffee was today, what LA was like, things that’d changed in Otter Bay since I’d last been here. Normal, regular, everyday stuff. No one ever talked to me about that.
I learned eventually that Juliet’s name was Kendra and everyone called Mercutio Spike, which was his middle name after his grandfather’s nickname, and he was thinking about legally changing it, anyway, or at least using it as a stage name when he got to Broadway.
He could’ve done it, too. A lot of these kids could have, with a little guidance and someone who knew the business on their side.
Maybe I hadn’t made my big break, maybe I never would, but I knewhowit was done, I had contacts.
As I sat and chewed on what was actually pretty good avocado toast with a perfect poached egg on top of it, I realized that I wanted to help. Not just in the usual way where it was nice to lend a hand to your fellow human, but really wanted to helpthesekids.
These kids who could have what I never did. Someone in their corner who knew what it was like to be them.
“So I’m thinking,” Seth said.
“Don’t hurt yourself,” I teased.
“Ouch. You see what I had to grow up with, guys? Anyway, I was thinking you could come and share your expertise with the group tomorrow. We have a class that starts at noon and we’re not in rehearsals right now.”
I wasn’t sure if he’d read my mind, or if he’d been gently leading me to the point of wanting to help out. Neither option would have surprised me with Seth.
A dozen pairs of young, hopeful eyes turned on me at once.
