“Would that be the worst thing?”
“For me? No. I’d love to have someone to come home to. For you, though?” Ryder raised an eyebrow. “You want an endless string of parties like the one last night? Film premieres and gutter press going through your trash and all kinds of people gettingreallyweird about your personal life?”
“People go through your trash?”
“Not yet,” Ryder admitted. “But I aspire to being trash-diving worthy and you’d be along for the ride with me. It’d beourtrash.”
“That… is a weird thing to aspire to.”
Ryder shrugged, taking another sip of his coffee. “That’s showbiz.”
We both leaned back against the truck in the middle of the parking lot in silence for a few minutes, Ryder steadily finishing his coffee and me nursing mine, a thought swirling around in my head.
A really persistent, maybe really stupid thought.
But I couldn’t stop thinking it, and I knew I had to say something.
“Hey, I was thinking,” I began before I could talk myself out of it, heart jumping into my throat at the thought of finishing the sentence.
I had to, though. I’d regret it if I didn’t, and besides, Ryder had already looked at me. I had to saysomething, and I couldn’t think of anything else.
“When we get home, do you… do you, uh… wanna go on a date? With… me?”
Ryder blinked at me, and for once in my life I couldn’t quite read his expression. Maybe because I was afraid to.
“I was just thinking, y’know, we were talking about how neither of us really dates and… I figure, while we’re pretending, we might as well have a little fun? A friendship date. Or… practice or whatever.”
I was rambling.
“You can say no if—”
Ryder raised a hand to cut me off, but there was a smile playing around his lips. “I’d like that,” he said. “Where are you taking me?”
Where was I taking him?
I hadn’t thought that far ahead, but…
By the time I opened my mouth to say so, I knew exactly where I wanted to take him.
“I know it’s a little cold for this, but how does a picnic on the beach sound?”
We’d done that every summer—for Ryder’s birthday, but also just because—and something about the way the cliffs shielded one particular section of the beach from the rest of town made it feel…
Magical. Different.
Private.
Like we could do whatever we wanted there and no one would ever see.
When we were kids, I’d always thought that if I ever worked up the courage to kiss Ryder, it would’ve been in that spot.
“Under the old gnarled crabapple tree?” Ryder asked.
Did he sound excited? I thought he sounded excited.
Maybe his heart was racing like mine was. Maybe this felt as huge to him as it did to me.
“Yeah,” I said, scratching the back of my neck. “If, umm. If you… wanted.”
