I turned and headed for the door while the shocked silence in the room lasted, barely getting it closed before it turned to laughter again.
Once I was safely outside, my shoulders slumped and my hands trembled, the adrenaline of a fight wearing off and anxiety about what I’d done starting to set in.
“Over here,” Andy’s voice said, echoing in the entryway.
It took me a moment to spot him hiding by the tree, in the shadows.
“What are you doing in there?” I asked, crossing the room and sidling into his hiding place with him.
“Iwantedto grab my coat and leave,” Andy explained. “But I knew I’d never find it in this stupid fucking castle. So I just hid… and hoped someone who wasn’t an asshole would find me.”
“Sorry to disappoint you,” I joked, but it came out weak and trembling. I wanted to comfort him, and I wantedhimto comfortme, and that was terribly selfish.
It didn’t stop me shuffling a little closer, though, just to feel the heat of his body.
“You’re not an asshole, you stuck up for me.” Andy reached out to me, toying with the fabric of my jumper.
That one little gesture made the world seem much more manageable.
“You heard that, then.”
“I heard,” Andy said, smiling a tiny, tentative smile. “Shove it so far up your ass you choke on it was masterful.”
“I learned from the best,” I said. “That’s one of yours.”
“Thoughtful, kind,andbrilliant, though?” Andy raised an eyebrow. “Kinda overselling it.”
“Not in the least. I missed out handsome, charming, and wickedly funny.”
“All those things?” Andy asked.
“All of them,” I said. “And more.”
“Not fit to shine my shoes?”
“None of them,” I said. “Nor am I, for that matter. You’re wonderful. You’re the most wonderful person I’ve ever met and I should never have exposed you to these people. You deserve so much better.”
“I wanted to be here for you,” Andy said. “You mean that, don’t you? All of it. That you think I’m... smart and kind and thoughtful and wonderful.”
“I have been saying so for years,” I mumbled past the lump in my throat. “I think you were even listening sometimes.”
“I was, I’m always listening,” Andy said. “But umm. I think I, umm, just uh. Heard it, y’know? For the first time.” He looked down at the fingers curled into my jumper.
I could barely breathe.
He’d found me out. He understood how I felt about him.
I was going to die of fear.
“Oh,” I said, for lack of any other words at all.
“Hey, Kit?” Andy looked up at me. “Do you think, umm. Do you think it’d be okay if I kissed you?”
“You have kissed me before,” I said, which was incredibly stupid of me.
“Yeah,” Andy responded, still playing with my jumper. “But no one’s watching now.”
“Well, I suppose, umm. If you, if youwanted—”
