I’d forgotten how much I missed him until I saw him again and something in me relaxed for the first time in over a decade. Tension I hadn’t realized I’d been carrying just melted away.
I pulled the blankets up over our heads, plunging us into pitch darkness, blocking out the moonlight filtering in through the wide window to the side of the room. It was always safe to share secrets in the dark. Nothing could hurt you.
“You’re forgiven, Ignatius Beaumont. For whatever it was you said. All I wanted was to take care of you.”
“Yeah?” Iggy asked, voice tiny.
“Yeah,” I said. “Friends again?”
“Friends again,” Iggy agreed.
And then he kissed me.
6
Iggy
Harvey’s mouthstill tasted a little of the sodas we’d had with dinner, sweet and sticky and exactly how I’d always thought it would be.
My wrist twinged as I reached out to run the pad of my thumb along that tempting stubble, but I didn’t care. All I could think was Harvey, Harvey,Harvey. If I’d been a puppy, my tail would’ve been in danger of wagging right off.
He felt so goddamn good, like coming in from a thunderstorm to a warm fire and a mug of hot chocolate and a big fluffy blanket. Everything about this was comforting and perfect.
I’d wanted to do this since I was fifteen years old and in love with the best friend I only got to see for a precious few weeks a year, who I never stopped thinking about, who…
… was pushing against my chest.
I backed off, panting for air under the blankets, stomach sinking.
Harvey didn’t want to kiss me.
“Iggy,” Harvey said, soft and tired and close enough that his breath ghosted over my face even as he pulled the blankets down. “What the hell did they give you?”
“The good Tylenol with the codeine in it,” I said. “That’s all. I’m not… I… Harv, Iwantthis. And I’m all here.”
“You’re in shock,” Harvey said, shuffling away from me.
Was I? Probably, but… that didn’t mean…
My heart hurt as Harvey climbed out of the bed, leaving an empty space where he’d been just a second ago.
I was going to lose him. I was going to lose him all over again.
“Harv,” I said, voice cracking.
“I’m not leaving,” he promised. “But I think it’s better if I sleep on the couch.”
And then he was gone, the bedroom door clicking shut quietly behind him. So quiet, so gentle.
A tiny whine on the floor beside me told me Theo was awake, and I rolled over to scoop him up and let him curl up by my chest. He didn’t like being under the blankets, but he liked bouncing around on the bed.
“Hey baby,” I murmured, swallowing thickly as I glanced at the door. “You won’t leave me, will you?”
Theo licked my nose and snuggled closer, huffing softly as he settled down.
Dogs were so much better than boys.
7
