“We’ve had a rough year,” he murmured, face buried in my shoulder. “I mean, obviously we’ve had a rough year, with me swinging between overworking and then not going in for weeks, sometimes because I knew I was getting in the way, sometimes because I just… couldn’t.”
“Because of Aaron?”
Hayden sighed. “Maybe. I dunno. I feel like it was hard before he left, but then I knew long before he left that I’d lost him, so…”
I nodded so he could feel it and squeezed him a little tighter.
“Can I tell you something that I need you not to ever tell anyone?” Hayden asked.
My stomach swooped at being so trusted, and I nodded again. “Of course,” I added, wanting him to be sure that I was agreeing to listen, whatever it was.
“I’m sotired,” Hayden said.
“That’s not a secret,” I pointed out.
Hayden laughed a tiny, exhausted laugh against me, which was an improvement over the way he’d been a minute ago. I was proud of that.
All I wanted to do right now was lift all this weight off his shoulders.
“Sometimes I don’t want to do this anymore, and then I think about all the people depending on me for a living, and I know I can’t just… quit. But sometimes, I want to.”
“I know,” I said, because Ididknow. No man who liked their job reacted as well to a break as Hayden had. He’d gotten back that five years of his life he’d lost to Aaron—and to the stress of feeling like he had to run everything by himself, so far from home, for so long.
Hayden made a soft, miserable noise and buried his face in my shoulder again. I stroked his hair, running my fingers through it deep and slow, petting and massaging his scalp until I felt the tension in him break and he went limp against me.
“So I was thinking,” I began. “You wanna go on a date?”
I pulled back to look Hayden in the eyes, wanting him to see how much I meant that. If he was leaving, I wanted him to know that this hadn’t just been sex.Reallyknow. So he wouldn’t forget, so he’d always feel loved.
“A date?” he asked.
“Yeah, a date. You know, when two people who like each other spend some time in each other’s company, for fun. Traditionally involves eating together or going some place they like.”
“I know what a date is,” Hayden said, an adorably grumpy crease forming between his brows. “It’s early, don’t tease me.”
“When else would I tease you?” I asked, rising on my toes to press a kiss to the frown line. “I was thinking, your dad still owes me that day with the car. So. You, me, picnic on the coast somewhere, I’ll show you my favorite views…”
“And your favorite makeout spot?” Hayden asked, finally smiling again.
“You know me sowell.” I laughed. “C’mon. I’ve been dreaming of making out with someone in that car since I first saw it. Indulge me? You can’t just sit around worrying until you head back.”
“Oh, Icould,” Hayden said. “But I would like to go on a date with you.”
“Good.” I darted in to peck his lips. “Now go sneak back into the house so I can make you the best eggs you’ve ever hadandgive you your birthday gift.”
“Last night wasn’t my birthday gift?” Hayden asked, eyebrow raised.
“We can have sex anytime you want,” I said. “But I did also do something special for you that I can give you in front of your dad.”
“You didn’t have to.”
“Yeah I did,” I said, squeezing his waist one last time, pecking the tip of his nose. “Because Iwantedto. Now go.”
Hayden laughed, took a step back, and then swooped back in, kissing me hard and needy, sending a rush of happy tingles south.
“See you in a minute.”
22
