But also, like Carter said,nice.
“The look on your face is worth a thousand words,” Carter continued while I was thinking that through. “Good. I’m happy for you.”
I took a breath to protest that this wasn’t like him and Aiden, I hadn’t foundthe one, Felix wasn’t going to want me once he left Slow Falls, but…
Right now, I didn’twantthat to be true. I wanted him to keep wanting me.
“Thanks,” I said. “And thank you for not saying anything to anyone else.”
I could tell he hadn’t, because none of them had even given me a second look.
“Aidenwillkill me for this, so you’d better be grateful,” Carter teased. “You’re still my best friend, Kieran. Even if you’ve got two of them now. I’ll always be here, and I bet Felix feels the same way.”
I wasn’t so sure, but I liked the sound of that.
“Yeah, yeah,” I nudged his side playfully. “Love you, too.”
23
Felix
“Carter reallycancook,”I said as Kieran climbed into the driver’s side of his truck. “Wonder when he had a chance to learn.”
“Apparently he came pre-trained by an ex-girlfriend,” Kieran said, starting the car. “Also apparently the only good thing about that relationship.”
“Ouch.”
“He’s fine now,” Kieran said. “It’s good to see him happy. And heishappy. He… he knows who he is now. And he’s got Aiden, and they’re perfect for each other.”
“They did seem that way,” I agreed, settling back into the car seat.
I wondered if Kieran felt like he understood himself better now, too. If he was going to move on to a relationship that worked forhim, instead of just doing what he’d gotten into the habit of doing.
Kieran had stepped into his father’s shoes at fourteen and, I was beginning to think, never done much that was forhimself.
I still wished I’d been there at the time, but I hoped, if nothing else, I’d shown him that there was more to life. That he had options. That he didn’t need to be a clone of his father.
Mr. Goode had been a kind, warm, gentle man, but he’d also been a lot of things Kieran wasn’t.
“So, how much more book do you have to write?” Kieran asked.
“Really not much,” I said. “I guess I’ve been thinking about this one for a long time. Now that I know I’m allowed to write it the way I want, the words just… flow. I’ll probably never be able to do this again, but it’s nice right now.”
“Don’t kill yourself doing it,” Kieran said. “You’ve got time. Right? You’re the rock star now. You get to miss a deadline or two.”
I laughed. He was right, in a way—I could afford to take some more time.
But I wanted to be finished. I’d been working on this series for five years—nearly six, now. The first three, I’d worked an office job writing marketing copy for a business consulting firm full-time while I was doing it.
I was impossibly grateful for the way my life had turned out since.
“I don’t wanna push my luck,” I said. “Besides, Angelica’s counting on me. She took a chance on me when I was a complete unknown. I owe it to her not to embarrass hertoobadly.”
“I like her,” Kieran responded. “Glad you had someone like her to take care of you.”
“Me too.” I let my head fall to the side, watching the tall cedars go past as we drove up the winding road to the cabin.
When I’d first driven up it, I’d been terrified of all the blind corners and narrow turns.
