“Oh, uh. We haven’t really… talked about it, yet,” I said, stomach sinking.
No, ofcourseI wasn’t moving to New York with Felix. I had a life back home.
But Felix wasn’t moving to Slow Falls to be with me, either, was he?
This was never meant to last.
“Well, I guess he might even be moving to LA after all this,” Colin said.
Great. Just as big and loud as New York, but hotter and prone to earthquakes.
Not that it mattered. I wasn’t moving with him. He wouldn’t evenwantthat.
When I’d told him I wanted to be his boyfriend, he’d asked if it wasfor the night, hadn’t he? I’d thought he was asking if I meantnow, but he wasn’t.
He was asking if I meanttemporarily.
And that was what we’d agreed on in the beginning, wasn’t it? A temporary arrangement. Nothing serious.
My stomach suddenly hurt, and I had to force myself to swallow my next mouthful of coffee.
“Ever been to LA?” Colin continued.
I shook my head, trying to force myself to be polite. I still couldn’t ruin Felix’s career, I never would’ve forgiven myself.
“No, uh. Never left the east coast, actually.”
Never left the state,I didn’t say. I looked pathetic enough as it was.
Why did I ever think Felixmightwant me long term, anyway? I was a handyman who occasionally worked at the local gym, who’d never been to college, who’d never left his home state.
Felix wasfamous. Morgan had recognized him instantly, and I’d seen his books in two different bookstore windows on the walk over to the publisher’s office this morning.
He had meetings onSaturday morningsbecause he wasthatimportant. Important enough that people scheduled meetings with him on the weekend because he was free that day.
I was just plain old Kieran, who hadn’t done anything exciting with his life. Who’d peaked in high school—when Felix wasn’t even there to see it.
“Yeah, I looked up Slow Falls after the launch,” Colin said. “Since I’d never heard of it. You sure are a small town boy, huh?”
Yeah. Yeah, I was. And Felix… wasn’t. Not anymore.
“I like the quiet,” I admitted. Ididlike the quiet. I liked my little small-town life and I wanted someone to share it with and Felix…
Felix maybe wasn’t that person.
No matter how much I wanted him to be.
“There you are!” Felix sing-songed, both of his hands landing on my shoulders as he bent down to kiss my cheek. I hadn’t seen him come in, but I was sure as hell glad he’d arrived now. “I thought I’d never see you again.”
“Meeting that bad?” Colin asked.
“No, the meeting was good. Just, y’know, long. So glad I have Angelica to navigate contracts and stuff for me.”
“So you… signed things?” I asked.
Colin laughed, and even Felix had to bite his lip to stop himself. He ran his fingers through my hair, but the way he did it made me feel like a little kid.
“Not yet. Things never move that fast. But I have lots of stuff to look over and think about,” he said, squeezing my shoulder.
