I came back to the real world to see Bianca—the woman I’d met yesterday in Kieran’s gym—smiling warmly at me.
“Hey,” I said, unsure if she was standing there for a reason. She’d been kind to me, but then she’d been kind of weird to Kieran. He hadn’t seemed allthatupset, but it’d still left me…
“I wanted to apologize for yesterday,” she said, beating me to finishing that thought.
“Oh. Umm. For…?”
“For not realizing you and Kieran were… a thing,” she said, lowering her voice to a whisper at the end.
I had no idea how to handle this conversation. All I knew was what Kieran had posted on Instagram this morning—if that was where she was getting the idea, it was hardly definitive.
But then she might have seen the pictureIposted, which was a little more damning.
The idea that more than one person in this town knew who I was blew my mind a little. Istillwasn’t used to that, and I’d shown my face in connection with my work so few times that barely anyone ever recognized me.
Two people in a town this small was ridiculous, to me.
“I was only kidding about, y’know…”
The wordsif I was ten years youngerfloated back to my mind. I still wasn’t thrilled on Kieran’s behalf, but I couldn’t afford the PR disaster of being anything short of polite.
“I think Kieran knew that,” I said. “But, uh, we’re not—”
“Serious?” Bianca asked, a smirk turning up the corner of her coral-tinted lips. “No one ever is with Kieran, don’t worry.”
I didn’t know what to say tothat, either, but something must have showed on my face, based on the way Bianca’s expression softened.
“He has… a reputation around here. Love ‘em and leave ‘em type. Real heartbreaker,” she said, but with a kind of fondness about it.
That was the thing—peoplelikedKieran. Everyone I’d spoken to so far talked about him with affection in their voice.
“Don’t let me discourage you, though,” she added. “He’s sweet, and hey, maybe nothing ever lasts with girls because he’s not all that into them.”
I was doomed to spend this entire conversation flailing for words as though it wasn’t my literal job to come up with them.
I couldn’t exactly tell her that I wasn’t expectingthisto last, either, could I? Not least of all because it was supposed to look like itwasto my publishers, like I was a safe bet to be a model gay man for the foreseeable future.Marketable.
Kieran was at least half of that marketability package, but they couldn’t exactly say anything if I happened to have a heart-crushing breakup with a man I’d been hopelessly in love with.
No, I’d known this had to come to an end even before it started. The added complication that Kieran apparently wanted to kiss me was just… a complication. Nothing I couldn’t handle.
Even as I thought it, Colin’s laughing face swam into my vision.
Oh shit, you thought this was serious. No, Felix, babe, this was only ever a temporary thing.
I felt every muscle in my chest tighten, my heart clenching so painfully it was as though I could feel it tearing in two all over again. The body-warmed metal of the apartment key I’d been offering him right before he said it was almost real enough in my mind to leave indents in my palm as my fist closed involuntarily.
“I’m sorry, sweetie, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” Bianca said, clearly noticing that reaction. “I just wanted to make sure you knew.”
I cleared my throat. “It’s fine, thank you so much for coming over to talk to me again,” I said, impressed by how sincere that sounded to my own ears. “I think Kieran and I know exactly where we stand with each other.”
Two lies in the space of two sentences. My brain reallywasin the mood to just make shit up.
“Well, there’s an unofficial club around here for people who know exactly where they stand with Kieran.” She smiled wryly. “Guess you can join it when the time comes.”
My stomach turned over unpleasantly. I couldn’t get a good read on this woman or what she was trying to achieve, although my suspicion was just… idle small-town gossip. Maybe she even thought she was doing me a favor.
To my incredible relief, Kieran chose that moment to slide into the booth across from me.
