“That’s what the F stands for,” Felix agreed, shifting in his chair. “Sorry. I would’ve gotten Kieran to warn you if I’d thought any of you might like… know my face.”
“Saw a YouTube interview once,” Morgan explained. “With one of my favorite book bloggers.”
Devin looked at Morgan like he’d just grown a second head.
I wasn’t sure I wasn’t doing the same.
“What?” Morgan shrugged. “What do you think I do between customers all day?”
“He has a degree in English Literature,” Aiden pointed out, the only one of us who hadn’t seemed surprised.
Well, except Felix. Felix mostly seemed embarrassed, and I hated that. I should’ve thought to mention who he was, but… I hadn’t.
Because to me, he was just Felix. Felix with an incredibly cool job, exactly the kind of thing he should have been doing, but stillFelix.
“Oh, wow, now I’mreallyworried,” Felix said, but with a laugh in his voice. “You know all my deepest, darkest secrets.”
“You put all your deepest, darkest secrets in your books?” I asked.
Amazon promised me I’d have them Monday, and now I couldn’t wait.
“Between the lines, yeah.” Morgan smiled wryly as Mom came back, rising to help her bring dinner to the table. “Hey, these are my flowers!” he added, grinning as he reached out to stroke one of the petals.
“But you’rehere,” Devin pointed out. “You’ve been here like an hour.”
“Honesty box,” Morgan explained, stealing one of the crunchy bits of Mom’s roast potatoes, which was the privilege of getting up to help.
“And I put my honest three dollars in it,” Felix said.
“A man of honor,” Morgan said, setting the potatoes down in the middle of the table while everyone inched a little closer to them, like cats waiting to pounce on an unsuspecting mouse.
“Would it be vain of me to ask what you think of the books?” Felix asked, glancing at the potatoes. Hemusthave remembered Mom’s roast potatoes. No one who’d had them could ever forget.
I’d make sure he got a couple.
“Love ‘em,” Morgan said, bringing over another couple of dishes. “Alex is getting together with Eliot, right?”
For a moment I thought my heart might stop. I remembered the conversation I’d had with Felix about Alex, and how the publisher didn’twanthim to be gay, but he was.
Could I say something to help?ShouldI?
Felix sighed. “I can trust you guys not to repeat this, right?” he asked.
General nodding and sounds of agreement rumbled around the table. Felix toyed with his napkin, nervous fingers twisting it up tight.
“It’s complicated,” he said. “I always meant him to and it’s good that comes across to someone who isn’t me, I guess, but… there are… my publishers are fucking assholes,” he finished, finally letting go of the napkin.
That sounded like something he’d wanted to say for a while.
“But they took a risk on me after I sold the first book to a tiny press who were so nice and a hundred percent behind Alex being gay—bi, actually, was the plan, because that almost never happens in YA and there are bisexual teenagers in the world and I want them to know that at least one adult sees them and believes them and thinks they’re awesome. But I wouldn’t be doing this full-time without the new publishers. I don’t… know.”
Morgan sat down, and so did Mom, both of them looking like they wanted to pull Felix into a hug.
I hesitated a second longer, and then put an arm around his shoulder.
As soon as I made contact, he crumpled against me, breathing a heartfelt sigh of relief and letting me take most of his weight.
“I don’t understand the finer points of publishing,” Morgan said. “But yeah, they sound like assholes. You write great books. Can’t you just… tell them how it is?”
