Kieran squeezed my hand, but he didn’t have to. I was okay with this. And I wanted to do it face-to-face, even if I only got to pass it to a receptionist.
This was as big a moment as when I signed the contract with them in the first place. I wanted to be in the room at the time.
“I think that can be arranged,” Angelica said. “See you…”
“Around noon,” I decided. “Gives us both some time.”
“If you can get a picture of the looks on their faces…”
“Angelica,” I gasped, pretending to be shocked. Honestly, that was whatIwanted to see, too. I hoped I got the opportunity.
“You never did that axe murderer research!” She laughed. “Youcoulddo this for me.”
“I’ll try,” I promised. “Thank you for everything.”
“Hey, you and me aren’t done yet. Thank me foreverythingwhen I’m dead.”
Kieran was looking at me when I hung up, brushing his fingers over my knuckles, trying to smile but not quite succeeding.
“You sure about this?” he asked before I could say anything.
I understood. Kieran didn’t want to see me suffer—of course he didn’t, he was a good person, and I knew he would have wrapped me up in cotton wool and guard me like a dragon if he thought I’d let him.
That was why I loved him so much.
“Remember what I said, about sacrifice? Having to give things you have up to get what you want?”
Kieran raised an eyebrow at first, but then nodded, and I could almosthearthe cogs turning in his head.
“I want to tell Alex’s story. Just the way it is. I want that more than I want to be this… big famous author guy you accused me of being,” I said, managing a wry smile. “As long as I won’t lose you in the process?”
“You won’t,” Kieran promised, shaking his head. “Never again, okay?”
“Never again,” I agreed.
Any choice that meant I got to keep Kieran had to be a good one.
30
Kieran
My whole heartswelled with pride the moment I saw Felix walking out of the publisher’s office, hands in his pockets, no letter in sight.
He’d been squeezing my hand tight on the entire walk here, but as he turned and smiled at me, I saw his shoulders relax—completelyrelax—for the first time today.
Including when I’d scrubbed them for him in the shower.
“Done?” I asked once he was close enough, taking both of his hands and holding them between us.
“Done.” He smiled, familiar dimple back in action. “No photo for Angelica, but they’ve got the letter. And the cheque. So I guess I’m… job hunting. But… I’m okay with it.”
“Yeah?” I asked. This had to be the hard part for Felix. He’d been able to do what he loved full-time for years, and now he was in an awkward position because of this.
“Honestly? Yeah. This is the first thing I’ve feltgoodabout since I started this book,” he said. “I didn’t like the lying. I dismissed the idea out of hand when Angelica pitched it to me.”
“But then you were wooed by my many charms?” I smiled back at him, swinging his hands gently.
“Something like that,” Felix said. “So I was think—”
