“He’s… more like his dad,” I said, thinking back to Mr. K and how nice he’d been to me. Always, but especially this week.
Without Carter’s mom, they could’ve been a nice, happy family. Maybe they’d still get the chance.
“I didn’t say you weren’tallowedto like him,” Morgan said. “Did say you shoulda told him.”
I watched him sip his coffee, wondering if I could risk a mouthful, too.
“He’s better off without me. It’s not like he can take me to fancy business mixers or nice dates in places with black marble bar tops or even… I dunno, introduce me to his friends.”
“You’re his best friend’s brother. Anyone else can talk to me if they don’t like you,” Morgan said. “You really think he enjoys fancy business mixers? Because I gotta say, I think youshouldstop fucking him if he does. That’s disgusting.”
I snorted at Morgan’s wrinkled nose. Neither of us were exactly corporate high-flyer material.
“I think they’re a part of his life,” I said. “I think he enjoys… reading quietly on the couch. Sitting down to eat with people he likes. Fresh pastries. Cuddling. Having someone actually care about him for once.”
A low whistle from Morgan warned me that I’d said too much. “You’ve got itbadfor this guy.”
I curled my hands around the coffee he’d brought, fighting the urge to toy with the lid. Keeping my hands still wasn’t easy at the best of times, and under this much stress it was nearly impossible.
“I love him,” I said softly. “Before it was a stupid crush, a fantasy I’d never fulfilled, but… he stood up for me. No one…”
“No one ever stands up for you because they figure you can take care of yourself,” Morgan said.
Yeah. He got that, too. We’d always stood up for each other, but having Carter do it…
That was the moment, I realized. The moment I’d gone from harmless crush and having a little fun fulfilling a teenage dream to actuallycaring,to wanting Carter to like me all over again.
Before that I’d been playing, afterward I was serious.
“Yeah,” I said, risking a sip of the coffee. My stomach protested at first, but there wasn’t anything physically wrong with me.
This was what a broken heart felt like.
“You should just… call him and tell him.”
“Sure,” I said, meeting Morgan’s eyes. “You can call Devin and tellhimfirst.”
Morgan looked away, scratching the back of his neck. Normally, I wouldn’t have used his adorable crush on Devin against him, but this was a special case.
“He’d freak out,” Morgan said.
“Right. See? Same problem. Carter isn’t ready to be bi. This was a low-stakes test run. He had no idea how badly his mom would take it, all he wanted was for her to stop trying to push him to get back together with his ex.”
His ex who he was probably going to end up back with anyway. But onhisterms. He understood himself now, and she’d understand him better, too. That was the main thing. He wouldn’t have to live like his father had.
I’d done a good thing and I should’ve been proud of myself.
“But Devin wouldn’t freak out,” I added after a moment. “He’d be flattered. He thinks you’re cool.”
“He doesnotthink I’m cool, and we’re not changing the subject,” Morgan said. “This is about you being an idiot. We can talk about me being an idiot some other time.”
“I’m not being an idiot,” I said. “Well, I am, but not the way you mean. I just need to get over it. Iwillget over it. Gimme a break, it’s early.”
Morgan snorted. “Early.”
“Early is relative. A state of mind,” I said, taking another sip of my coffee. “I’ll get over it.”
“Mmhmm,” Morgan hummed. “Come over tonight. Ice cream, beer, B-movies. Won’t even mention it if you cry.”
