Why was he beingweird? Normally I didn’t have any trouble making friends, but Carter was…
He’d probably always been this awkward, hadn’t he? I’d just beenmoreawkward as a teenager and hadn’t really noticed.
Maybe fifteen-year-old Aiden’s tastes weren’t as incredible as I thought.
“I’ll shut up,” I promised. “You can just tell me to do that, I know I’m a little…much. For some people. Most people, probably.”
Carter glanced at me, pretty grey eyes reflecting the sky outside, giving them the faintest hint of blue.
I could have looked at his eyes all day. I couldstillhave looked at his eyes all day. I’d always wanted to.
No, fifteen-year-old Aiden had it right in ways I couldn’t have imagined. Ilikedthe awkwardness. I liked that Carter wasn’t used to the attention, that he had no idea how hot he was, that I could’ve made him blush as much as I wanted.
Aside from the whole… straight thing.
What was Idoinghere? This had been such a dumb idea. I was just torturing myself over something I couldn’t have.
“You’re not too much,” Carter said. “And you shouldn’t let people tell you that. You’re supposed to be Mr. Confidence. Ifyoucan’t be sure that your company is worth having, what the hell chance do the rest of us have?”
“Mr. Confidence?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. People called me all kinds of things, but that was a new one.
Carter shrugged. “You seem to have enough to spare,” he said. “From my perspective, anyway.”
“There’s a difference between not taking any shit and actually being confident. Underneath all this ink and nail polish and leather, I’m… a constant morass of self-doubt.”
“Morass,” Carter repeated.
“It means—”
“I know what it means,” he said, smiling so his eyes glinted warmly in the sunshine. “Not aseethingmorass? While we’re breaking out the five-dollar words.”
He was teasing me.
No force known to man could have stopped me grinning like an idiot at him. Holyshitthis felt good.
It wasn’t mean-spirited at all. It was just Carter, baby Aiden’s number one fantasy object, treating me like a friend.
I could have melted into a puddle of goo under the table. It wouldn’t even have made any difference to the overall stickiness of the floor.
“Audiobooks have taught me a lot,” I said. “Andyou’rethe honor student. You don’t get to say anything about me being a nerd.”
“I’m not,” Carter said, eyes still so warm I was in danger of spontaneously combusting. “Not saying anything, I mean. Except that I’m surprised. Pleasantly surprised. I was wondering what the hell I was gonna talk to you about for a week, because I know basically nothing about tattoos. What’re you reading now?”
Fifteen-year-old Aiden could have cried. Carter was talking to me.Reallytalking to me, not just making small talk because he didn’t have a choice.
I needed to stop grinning like an idiot at him, or he’d freak out.
“Uh, it’s calledErebus: The Story of a Ship,” I said. “I don’t think I ever caught the fiction bug, but I love stuff like this. It’s about… this will surprise you… a ship. A British ice ship that was found a little further north from here. Well. A lot further north. It’s… probably super boring if you don’t care about boats.”
Don’t bore him to death.
“I did notice your anchor,” Carter said. “And the merman, which was actually incredible. Remind me to get a better look sometime.”
“I’ll show you once we get to the hotel,” I said, struggling not to stumble over every word.
Whatever I’d done to flip a switch in the way Carter looked at me, I hoped I could keep it up.
“Is it yours? I saw more of them in the shop.”
