Good job killing the mood.
There wasn’t amood, not in the wayI might have liked, but we’d been having a fun conversation and Logan had beenpatiently listening to my life story and making intelligent comments.
Talking about the singlemost depressing thing in my life right now wasn’t the best way to makemyself feel better.
Logan’s arm moved onthe back of the bench, curling around my shoulder and pulling me in. I couldhave resisted. Ishouldhave resisted.
But I didn’t want to, andLogan was so warm, and he was offering to let me lean on him.
How was I meant to say no tothat?
A sigh escaped me the momentmy head hit his shoulder.
“You don’t deserve to feelunsafe,” Logan said, low and calm. “No one does.”
“I can’t help thinking…” Ipaused to swallow, my voice cracking before I’d even gotten the words out. “Ican’t help thinking I brought this on myself. That if I’d just… kept my headdown…”
“Then you wouldn’t be you.”Logan tightened his grip on me, squeezing my arm. “You’re not hurting anyone. I’mwilling to bet you’re bringing a lot of joy to a lot of lives. Your friendslove you. Bad things happen to good people for no reason. That’s just… how theworld is. It’s up to good people to keep being good people no matter whathappens.”
That sounded like personalexperience, too. The way Logan said it made me wary of prying, but there waspain in his voice, hard-won wisdom.
He must have lost things.People he cared about. Parts of himself.
Hell, he must have thought Iwas the biggest coward in the world. He’d been an Army Ranger and Iwas… I was a scared little gay boy in desperate need of a hug.
“You don’t think I shouldrun away?” I asked, stomach twisting at the thought of him judging me for it.
“You want an honest opinion?”
Ohfuck. He did thinkI was a coward. Could I take hearing that?
I had to. If I was doing thewrong thing, if I was being stupid, I needed someone to tell me that now. Loganwas the closest thing to an objective opinion I was going to get.
“Yes,” I said, hoping thetremble in my voice wasn’ttooobvious in that single word.
“I think moving home isterrifying to you, and I can kinda guess why. So Iknowyou’re more scaredof this guy stalking you than you are of going back to a place you hate. And Iknow you’re doing it to protect your friends, because you’re scared you’re notthe only one in danger. That’s brave. I think what you’re doing is brave.”
I snorted.
That was the first time I’d been calledbrave. I had to take someone with me to get a flu shot every year.
“And I wouldn’t expect anyless, ‘cause you get up on stage in a dress and a wig and you entertain people,and I’d fucking die of fear if I tried to do that.”
“Okay, now Iknowyou’re just makingshit up,” I said. “You went and fought in a warzone.”
“More than one.” Logansipped his coffee. “Still couldn’t get up there in front of all those people.Wig or no wig.”
“It’s easier with the wig,”I said. “That’s the big secret. It’s notmeup there. It’s Arizona Tease,fierce untouchable bitch.”
Logan chuckled, shouldersshaking, fingers stroking up and down my arm.
A hot wave of arousal washedsouth from the base of my neck, pooling in the pit of my stomach. At thisdistance I could smell his aftershave, fresh and masculine.
He had no idea what he wasdoing to me, but I wasn’t about to stop him.
“If only they could see younow,” he murmured, still stroking my arm over the top of my too-big hoodie.
This one had once belongedto a man who’dbeen so kind to me behind closed doors that I’d wanted to marry him.
