Shit.
Shit.
As if letting Ashley makeout with me and notstoppinghim wasn’t bad enough, now I’d goneand jerked off over the thought of him coming in here and doing itagain.
Did I want that?
What thefuck?
Stress, I decided. Stressand having the idea put in my head by one drunken kiss I hadn’t had the heartto stop. I was worried about this job, worried I didn’t have the skills to doit right, and that was making my brain weird.
As excuses went it wasflimsier than Ashley’s panties, but I still planned on clinging to it.
I needed to figure out a wayto clean up without getting busted. I’d feel better once I’d cleaned up and gottenin a solid half hour of sleep.
The unmistakable sound ofthe shower turning on made me groan aloud. Bathroom occupied.
I’d have to wait until Ashleywas out of it and distracted enough not to notice the wet patch at the front ofmy pants. Because hewouldnotice and hewouldsay something.
And I didn’t know how I’dreact.
And I wasn’t sure I wantedto find out.
NINE
ASHLEY
“Good morning YouTube,” Isaid, grinning at the camera. “I see you guys liked the Get Ready With Me videoa couple of days ago and I’m thrilled because I could do those all day. I mean,if I got ready more than once a day, I guess. Let me know in the comments ifyou actually wanna see more of them, they’re a lot of fun and I guess seeingwhat I do on a normal day is cool for you guys? Anyway. Today I’ve got plentyof time, so we’re gonna do something…”
I paused for effect,splaying my hands out either side of my face and wiggling my fingers.
“Dramatic.”
I couldn’t have stoppedmyself laughing even if I’d wanted to. Doing this made me happy.
It’d be enough. I had to tellmyself that when I was back home,thiswould be enough. Enough ofa window out onto the world, enough of a chance to be myself.
It had to be. Makeup videoswere the only thing I’d have left in just a handful of days now.
“So as always, we start witha clean face,” I explained, scrubbing the sides of my nose with a cleansingwipe. “And today I’m trying these apple blossom scented pure and natural wipes,there’s a link in the description.”
The sound of Logan cominginto the kitchen made me pause, but I couldn’t see any harm incontinuing. This was my apartment, and it wasn’t as though he didn’t know Iwore makeup. He hadn’t seen a full face yet—I toned it down for everydaywear—but I trusted Logan.
After last night, I knew hewas okay. He’dforgiven me for every stupid thing I’d done so far, and he’d done it as gentlyas I could ever have asked him to.
Embarrassed as I still wasabout that, I couldn’t let it stop me living my life.
“The beautiful man walkingbehind me is my new roommate, Logan,” I said to the camera as I watched Logango to the fridge, fresh from the shower and not wearing a shirt.
Roommate sounded better thanbodyguard. I didn’t need my subscribers to know that I needed one. Drama was goodfor views, but that was the wrong kind of drama.
Besides, I felt exposedenough by havingonestranger overly invested in my personal life.Telling the world what I was going through was too much.
“Are you filming?” Loganasked, peering directly at the camera.
Post-shower Logan was thehottest Logan I’d seen yet, with a droplet of water rolling down his chest,pausing to brush over a peaked nipple and then continuing on out of sight.
“No, Logan,” I said. “I’mdoing a full face of makeup on camera instead of in front of a mirror because Ilike to do things the hard way.”
