“I’m gay, and every month Iput on a wig and a dress and get up on stage and I feelincredibleabout it, andyou can’tmake me ashamed of that. I don’t care what you think. Ihavea family, a goodone, a loving one who’ve stuck by me through everything. They all live inSan Francisco.” I paused. “And Sacramento.”
Logan stroked his thumb overthe back of my hand in response. If I’d looked, I was sure I would have seen himsmiling.
“And I love this particularman with all my heart,” I added. “And I’m leaving with him. You can hate me forthat all you want, it’s your life. This is mine.”
A few moments of silentstaring was broken when Maisie burst into unpleasant, hysterical laughter.
“You think this is becauseyou’regay?” she asked. “Howstupid are you?”
Beside me, I felt Logantense up. Ready to move between us as Maisie stepped forward.
“This is because you got toleave,” she said,confirming what we’d all known by now—shewasguilty. “You walked awayfrom all this and left it all tometo deal with.”
What?
What?
“You’re the one who lovesthe horses! You’re the eldest! Why should you get to escape this suffocatinglittle shithole of a town and leave me behind? How comeyouget to have alife, when I’vebeen toeing the goddamn line since I was old enough to talk and you’ve onlyever been the family embarrassment?”
In the brief pause thatfollowed, I noticed neither my momormy dad jumped in to correct herabout that.
Family embarrassment, huh?
That was fine. I could go beanembarrassmentwith my real family, my family back home in San Francisco,and they’dstill invite me out and eat with me and share their lives becauseembarrassingwasn’t the worstthing you could be.
It wasn’t worse thancruel, it wasn’t worse than bigoted, and it sure as hell wasn’t worse thanspoiled.
“So your solution was toscare me half to death?” I asked.
I could hardly believe I washearing this.
“To scare you home,” shesaid. “So you’d have to start helping like you’resupposedto. You didn’t notice thatthere’s only one horse out there? Grandma never told you that welostthree last year?”
Grandmahadtold methat, and I’dbeen torn between thinking it was bad luck and thinking it was badmanagement.
“This is supposed to be afamily business! I wasn’t supposed to be left all on my own to handle it. It’snotfair. The business isfailing because of you, you asshole,”Maisie continued.
Thatwas what thiswas about? Maisie not being able to keep an established business afloat?
That washerfault.It had nothing to do with me.
“I wasn’t even here!” Isaid.
“Exactly! Who else did wehave to help? When we had to let the others go it was just us! We needed youand you were too busy sucking strangers’ cocks in San Francisco to come backand help your own family. Youoweus.”
I could feel tension rollingoff Logan, but he didn’t move. He was letting this play out, giving Maisieenough rope to hang herself with.
“I owe you,” I repeated,stunned. “Ioweyou. You’ve managed to run a successful, respectedbusiness into the ground because you don’t give enough of a shit about anythingbut yourself to run it and this ismyfault, somehow? When haveyoueverdone anything for me? When have any of you ever done anythingfor me? Grandma’s the only one who’s ever cared about me.”
“Now, Ashley,” my dad said.
A glare from Grandma shuthim up.
“The business is failing,” Isaid, taking a breath. “And instead of asking for help like a normal person,you thought you’d terrorize me into coming home? And then bully me into helpingto fix it?”
What was I saying. Ofcourseshe had. Terrorizing and bullying me had been how Maisie got her way since shewas a toddler. What else could she possibly have done? Why would she stop now?
“You’re the one who gives ashit about the horses!” she screeched. “Why shouldn’t you take care of them? Ifthis asshole hadn’t intervened, I would have saved the whole thing! One morepair of hands was all we needed.”
