I squeezed her hands back,grateful for the offer. Grandma lived in a separate unit behind the house, andhad done since I was little. I’d always liked being able to escape the big houseand go hang out with her for cookies and milk when I was little, tea and cakewhen I was older, and half a bottle of whiskey when Mike had unceremoniouslydumped me.
“You’ll like him,” Ipromised. “He’s not like the others.”
A flash of sadness flickeredover Grandma’sface.
He wasn’t like theothers, and I couldn’t keep him.
The thought made my stomachclench all over again, but I forced myself to smile as I waved Logan over.
“You’ll like him,” Irepeated.
At least this way I’d have someoneto cry to when he left.
TWENTY-TWO
LOGAN
The way Ashley waved goodbyeto me from his porch as I closed the front gate behind me was almost enough tomake me run back there, throw him over my shoulder, and take him away with me.
His grandma had been sweetto me, like Ashley promised she would be, but the rest of his family… I didn’t likeleaving him with them. Turning my back on them felt like turning my back on ahungry dog when there was a steak on my plate.
The whole time I’d been helpingAshley move his stuff into his room, I’d been able to feel them watching.People watched me wherever I went—I was a noticeable guy, and I knew it—but notlikethat.
And I’d left Ashleywith only his grandma and my hoodie for protection.
Was that really doing myjob?
Two miles down the road, Ipulled over.
Gray would have had ananswer. I could have called him right now, and he would have told me…
Exactly what I didn’t want to hear.That the job was over and it was time to come back home.
That I’d done what I’dbeen hired to do, and sometimes I wouldn’t like it. There was no changing theworld here. There’d never been any changing the world, just doing the littlebits of good we could manage.
I wanted to hear that it wasfine if I went back and…
Fuck, andwhat?Dragged Ashley away from all this, regardless of what he wanted?
What was I going todoif I went back there? Demand they hand him over and take him back to my placeand wrap him in a blanket?
Then what? He couldn’t go back to SanFrancisco, not unless his stalker got caught.
He wouldn’t want to staywith me. That much was obvious. I’d break him just as quickly as this townwould, even if I never meant to. Ashley was so bright and magical, he couldn’tlive my pizza, beer, and TV life with me.
Could he?
Even if hecould, whywould he want to? I was just another man in a long line of men who’d let him down.
But…
Justleavinghim herefelt wrong. What if he wasn’t okay? What if he wanted to go back?
What ifIwanted togo back?
Because that was it, wasn'tit? I wanted to go back, and I was trying to talk myself out of it.
I couldn't change anything,but I could see him again.
