I didn’t evenlikeLA.
“I don’t actually likeperforming,” he said in a rush. “I just wanna write songs. But it’s not… it’s…I have thisgift, people say, for music. Piano and guitar and… and my voice,too.”
I still hadn’t heard hissinging voice, but I had no trouble imagining it was beautiful.
“And my parents worked sohard to get me lessons and encourage me. My dad worked two jobs, and I remembercoming home from school one day and finding him asleep on the couch, and hepanicked that he was late for his night job. Security, actually, if you canbelieve that.”
Quinn paused, glancing atme. Checking to see if I was still listening, I thought.
Of course I was. This wasimportant,and I got the feeling that just the same asInever opened up to anyone,he never opened up to anyone, either.
“He said he’d just meant torest his eyes a few minutes, and that was when it really hit me how much he wasdoing. I told him to stop, that I didn’t need to learn music that badly, andyou know what he said? He told me that he never paid attention in school,scraped through with passing grades, never got interested in anything much.That the first thing he’d ever really cared about in his life, the thing that’dturned him into a man, was finding out mom was pregnant with me. So he owed methis. Which means I owe them, too. Ineedthis career. I needthem to see that I’m making the most of the sacrifices both of my parents made toget me here.”
Oh,Quinn.
I’d never wanted to gatherhim up in my arms and hold him more than I did after hearing that. He may haveowed it to his parents to make the most of his life, but not to bemiserable. And he wasn’t happy.
“So what’s the problem withwriting your own songs? And why haven’t I seen a piano or a guitar?” I asked.If Quinn was good at all of them, why not make the most of him?
He shrugged. “Uncle Vincentsays Harmony wants to sell me as like… I guess a budget, male Carly Rae Jepsen.I won a few local contests and stuff when I was younger. But the big breaknever came. Or I guess thisisthe big break and I just… it’s like working as anintern, you know? One day they might give you a real job. One day when I’veproved I know what the hell I’m doing, maybe I can write my own songs.”
“Quinn—”
“I know, okay?” Quinn cut meoff. “I know that if it hasn’t happened yet it’s probably never going tohappen. I know my first album sold all of three thousand copies includingstreaming. Ihaveto believe if I keep working, it’ll all fall intoplace. Otherwise this has all been for nothing, and it’s been too hard to befor nothing.”
There were tears in Quinn’s eyes again. Ilooked at him and saw a man right at breaking point, a man who neededsomethingto give beforethe something was him.
I’d help him. Fuck Harmony Recordsand fuck his uncle. I was here forQuinn.
Everything I’d wanted to sayabout sunk costs fallacies and the fact that his life wasn’t going to end whenhe turned twenty-five evaporated on my tongue.
I reached out, taking hishand. It was too much to do in a crowded coffee shop, but Quinn didn’t so much asflinch.
He needed this.
“You know what I see, when Ilook at you?” I asked.
Quinn shook his head.
“I see wisdom beyond your years,kindness beyond your experience, and,” I leaned forward so I could lower myvoice to a whisper, “a fantastic arse.”
Quinn giggled, which wasexactly what he needed right now.
Later, he needed to realizethat this was making him miserable. No part of his life made him happy except,I suspected, writing his own songs. Which he hadn’t been allowed to do.
If I could have taken himaway and cuddled him for a few hours and promised to make everything allbetter, I would have.
“Where does Uncle Vincent fitin?” I asked.
Quinn shrugged, sittingback. “Hehad the connections. He started out in TV, actually, but it meant he kind ofknew his way around this whole… thing. He got me this contract. Without him Iwouldn’t be here, and I need him to do all the business things.”
“Forgive me for saying this,but if he was any good he’d be fighting for your interests instead of relayingdirectives straight from the record company without any resistance.”
By which I meant, so farVincent seemed to be about as much use as a chocolate teapot and several ordersof magnitude less appealing.
“Hey you guys!” Lucyenthused from behind me, putting a hand on the back of my chair as she came toa stop beside us.
Whatever answer Quinn mighthave given was lost to me now. He snatched his hand away in a hurry, but I didn’t blame him.There was a lot going on in that adorable head, and I didn’t plan on making itany harder.
